Dad defies angry relatives to support gay son at mother's funeral

While many parents love and cherish their children, some struggle with acceptance due to their child's sexuality. A dad, known as u/Conscious_Jury_7937 on Reddit, shared a heartbreaking story about his wife's refusal to accept their gay son. When she passed away, tension erupted at her funeral as her family ostracized the son. Despite this, his father stood firmly by his side.

The father, who had been with his wife since high school, shared that they had a 25-year-old son and a 27-year-old daughter. "My son came out as gay when he was 16. My wife was never supportive of my son being gay. He moved out at 19 to live with his boyfriend. My wife tried to pretend he did not exist. None of her family were supportive and would let it be known during family events. As a result, I became distant from my wife and was looking into divorce," he explained at the start of the post.

"She got diagnosed with breast cancer last year and I put the divorce on hold to help take care of her. Son also helped, but she would push him away. The cancer spread throughout her body and she passed away last week. We had the service last week and her family made it clear that her son and his boyfriend had to sit away from everyone. Her brother approached me asking if I would sit with him and his family. I simply told him no and went to sit with my son," the dad continued.

But his actions earned him and his son "dirty glares" from relatives on his wife's side. Her brother even charged the dad after the funeral service and accused him of choosing his son over his wife. "He even went as far as to say that my wife did not want her son there as he was a disgrace. I am now disgraced by her family for supporting my son. This has caused tension between the families. I just would like to know if I was in the wrong," the post concluded.

Fellow Reddit users joined hands to let the dad know through their comments that he did the right thing. u/QuirkyFunUsername wrote in support of the dad: "Your wife's family sure is [the] worst. I'm sorry for this tough time. High five for being a supportive parent to your son. It sounds like he really needed you." u/GeneralLei commented: "Your wife is gone. Nothing you do now can offend her or cause her harm. What you do can and will affect your son though. You did the right thing, OP. The needs of the living come before the perceived wants of those passed. I’m sorry for your loss but so glad that your son knows he has you." 

u/WolfGoddess77 added: "Your son deserves to know that he has someone in his corner, especially if his maternal relatives feel the same way about him as your wife. Sitting with him at the funeral doesn't mean that you were choosing him over your wife; it means that you love your son." Other commentators reminded the dad that he was ready to divorce his wife over her attitude towards their son coming out as gay and now he is doing the right thing by sticking to his son's side.

According to the Chicago Tribune, a 2012 study by the Williams Institute at UCLA Law found that up to 1.6 million young people experience homelessness in the U.S. each year, with 40% identifying as LGBTQ. The study also revealed that 46% of homeless LGBTQ youths ran away due to family rejection, 43% were forced out by parents, and 32% faced physical, emotional, or sexual abuse at home.

Editor's note: This article was originally published on September 5, 2023. It has since been updated.