Dad shares opinion on why marriages are hard and parents find it '100 percent accurate'

Committing to marriage is a significant responsibility that requires thoughtful consideration. Married couples often face challenges and conflicts, with various reasons behind them. When TikTok creator @liveroniandcheese asked married couples to share why "marriage is hard," one dad, @drumbeatlane, jumped in with a candid response. In a video, he offered a thought-provoking perspective, suggesting that the difficulty of marriage often isn’t about the couple themselves—but about a third factor. His insight sparked a lively debate among viewers.

“It’s the children. The children make it hard. I don’t care how much you love and care for somebody; when you almost constantly have the added pressure of small humans demanding your attention, time, and energy, it is hard to be a good, kind, patient, loving, and attentive partner,” Justin explained. He clarified that he wasn’t suggesting parenting isn’t worthwhile or that people shouldn’t have kids—he himself is a loving father. “I am just saying, when you have kids, it drastically reduces the ability to be an attentive and engaging partner,” he added.

The dad built up his words by explaining that with kids a lot is frustrating and exhausting, hence giving time and attention to one’s partner becomes harder. Justin acknowledged that certain parents have no issues with their kids or marriage but he said, “There’s 99% of people who have kids and feel marriage is harder." The dad cited an example from his life where he mentioned he gets home from work and during dinner, his young kids are constantly bickering at the dinner table.

He added, “My wife is like, ‘You know, at the dinner table, you didn't seem to be in a good mood.’ I said, ‘How can I? It has nothing to do with you, you’re great, you're incredible but when I have shout over children fighting in order to have a conversation with you, I just choose not to have a conversation with you.’” He further explained that the scenario had nothing to do with how much he loves or cares for his wife and is solely the result of the chaos kids bring into the environment. “That’s one of the thousand ways kids make it difficult to have a strong loving marriage.” Several parents hysterically agreed at how true the idea was.

@thewildheartway said, “I am madly in love when I’m alone with my husband but with the kids, we're business partners.” @joegiants17 agreed and said, “Parenthood is worth it but here are 127 reasons why we’re miserable.” @lovethyjas said, “Most disagreements revolve around kids.” Some parents didn’t quite agree on the fact that kids are the problem directly. @madame_jenfree said, “It’s not the kids that are the problem for us. It’s more the lack of shared parental duties.” @mrshents said, “Kids and marriage are hard only when we prioritize kids over the spouse. Kids will eventually leave home, hopefully, your spouse won't.” @brittanyyakaria added: "100% accurate! A weekend together away from the kids will show you it’s not y’all, it’s definitely those kids." @cheriescholl chimed in: "It’s so true. I think we are all trying to be better parents than our parents were. It takes so much energy to do that too!"

You can follow Justin (@drumbeatlane) on TikTok for more witty and relatable content on parenting.

This article originally appeared 9 months ago.