Dad objects to his son's unexpected pick for best man because it goes against 'traditions'

Many people have taken to challenging gendered roles like bridesmaids and best men at weddings. Doing so gives people a chance to include their loved ones in the celebration better, but it isn't unusual for some to face resistance from friends and family. In one such case, a groom who wanted his sister to be his 'best man' faced immense criticism from his father and took to Reddit to share the situation in a post that has now been deleted.

"I want my sister to be my best woman instead of having a best man, but my dad has issues with it," the person explained. As it turned out, his dad wants his cousin to be his best man instead, as per PEOPLE. "My cousin got married five years ago and I was his best man. Since then, my dad has heavily pushed that when I get married, I need to ask him to be my best man... I love this cousin dearly, but I also want my sister to be included in my wedding and I don't want her to have secondary type roles like doing a reading, guest book attendant, etc." However, the dad insisted that having a "best woman" went against tradition and the groom should only have men by his side during the ceremony. The Reddit user's dad also thought that he should make the cousin his best man so as to return the favor.

However, the man disagreed with his dad's POV. "I have suspected for many years that my dad doesn't care much for my sister since he's not her biological father. My mom doesn't do much to defend my sister either," the man revealed. "There's a part of me that wants to tell my dad that if he doesn't accept my plans for my side of the wedding party, then he's not allowed to come." Many people took to the comments section of the post to offer advice and encourage the groom not to let his father influence his decision.

u/brownchestnut wrote, "Why are you arguing with your dad? You're 30 years old. You don't need your dad to approve of your every decision. It's dumb of your dad to make such a fuss about what you should do with your wedding, but it's also unnecessary for you to try to escalate this by forbidding him from even coming to the wedding unless he pretends to be happy with it. You can just tell him that if it bothers him so much, he's welcome to not attend, but forcefully banning him unless he agrees with your decision is overkill. This looks honestly like overcompensation that happens after you've been people-pleasing too long. Find a balance. Learn to laugh at his ideas and ignore his opinions or wave them away instead of going from 0 to 100."

u/CurlyGirl_95 commented, "I mean, it’s your wedding…you can have whoever you want standing beside you! I have my sister and brother standing beside me while my fiancé has his sister and best friend beside him!" u/Alexag0509 remarked, "My mom kept saying 'Well since I'm paying for it, you'll do XYZ and my way' -- so we paid for it ourselves. It's your wedding. If it's what you want and the bride is on board, do whatever makes you two happy."