Terminally ill dad carries his 4 kids to bed every night — fearing it may be the last time

Parenting is a bittersweet task, and watching kids grow up is one of the most impactful processes throughout the journey. A dad named Joshua McAloon has been cherishing this phase of his life by soaking in every moment he can spend with his children, even through the smallest traditions. In a video shared by his wife, Janelle McAloon (@janellemcaloon), she captured a nighttime tradition where he carries all 4 of his kids to bed simultaneously. While it is a delightful experience, it is also a slightly heartbreaking one, and that’s just how parenting works.

Sarah Rosensweet, a parenting coach, noted, “Our children start out as helpless infants who almost feel like an extension of our own bodies. Someday, in the not-too-distant future — they will be self-sufficient adults, possibly living across the country. It is their job to get there and our job to support them as they grow, mature, and separate from us,” per A Fine Parent. However, for parents to fully accept this reality is painstaking, as a Quora discussion showed. Diana Speis noted, “They grew up too fast. It felt like it was overnight. I look back and realize that every stage of their life was wonderful.”

Judy added, “It is called the natural order. But you seem to want to disrupt the order and keep your children forever young. But you cannot alter it." The timeless song "Slipping Through My Fingers" by ABBA sports these lyrics: "Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the pictures and save it from the funny tricks of life," which resonates hard with every parent. Watching kids grow can be as heartbreaking as it is delightful. With one preteen daughter, a younger boy and girl, and a toddler, McAloon knew he wanted to soak in all of their childhood. He had them all standing on a short table before he could pick them all up as a daily tradition.

Taking the preteen on his back first, he then grabbed all three of these tiny tots in his arms. The weight was staggering, and Joshua's face could barely be spotted among the five heads banging together. The kids all held on to him tightly, gripping their little feet around his waist, completely sure that Dad wouldn't drop them. The kids chuckled, shrieked, and yelled in excitement as their dad, like a superhero, made his way up the stairs. It visibly took everything for the man to make his way up with all four of his kids clinging to him, but he would never want to trade this feeling for anything else.

For the dad, it was not just a nighttime tradition or a display of muscular strength — it was memory-making, another day to be dependable and another chance to hold his little ones near. Simultaneously, it was also another day of his kids growing bigger and taller, another day closer to the dad being unable to pick them all up. If you looked back on the last time you were picked up as a child or the last time you picked your own child up, you might not be able to define a specific time. Suddenly, one day was just the last, and the next thing you knew, you or your child was all grown up. 

That’s what a majority of parenting is. You’re lucky to get the firsts, but never know when it was the last, and just like that, your child is grown up. “My husband is making sure he can carry all the kids to bed because he knows the last is near,” the video's text overlay read. The “last” referred to a time when he might not be able to carry his oldest or carry all four together. Perhaps, his oldest might no longer want to be carried to bed, as most teenagers abruptly grow out of rituals they consider childish. @paulianalara said, “This man is doing more than he knows! These kids are growing up feeling love and support.” @johnnymarmora remarked, “That’s a rich man right there.”

You can follow Janelle McAloon (@janellemcaloon) on Instagram for more content on family and parenting. 

If you're struggling to cope with grief, and need help, please reach out to Crisis response at 1-800-203-CARE (2273)