The internet is siding with the dad and his decision after his three children refused to take care of him in his old age.
In Western culture, we often see kids moving out of their homes once they turn 18 years old. Then their parents usually shift to retirement homes and that's their way of life. But in some parts of the world, children are expected to care for their old parents till they pass away. In this case, u/Quick-Teacher-3016 developed an estranged relationship with his grown-up children who refused to take care of him when he was unable to take care of himself. In response to that, the father of three decided to take a drastic step.
The aging father turned to the Reddit community and explained his story after asking if he was in the wrong for spending his children's inheritance. The man made it clear at the beginning that he was not posting in order to look for financial advice or moral judgment. "I have 3 children: Jason (25M), Monica (30F) and Veronica (32F). I've always had a good relationship with my children. A bit distant after my wife's death, but in general we have a nice relationship," he began.
The father had received a hefty inheritance from his own parents after they passed away a few years ago and he was originally saving it to pass it on to his kids. "It's important to mention that in my culture, children are supposed to take care of their parents in their old age. Both my mom and dad suffered from diseases that required 24/7 care by the end of their life. These diseases run in the family so most likely I will suffer from one of them too," he continued in the post. "I made an off-hand comment about going to the doctor for my annual revision since my health has been not so great. I said, 'Has anyone talked about who I will live with when I'm old and wrinkly?' It was a joke."
But the comment did not sit right with any of his children because they promptly made it clear that they would not be taking care of their aging dad when he was old. The three children cited the rising cost of living and taking care of their own family as the reason behind their decision. The father was hurt upon hearing that. "Since then, I've made the decision to start to plan for my old age. I moved a lot of the funds of the inheritance to my savings account and plan to go on trips that I've always wanted to go. I plan to pay for this with the inheritance," the dad wrote.
He mentioned visiting Mexico to his daughter Monica and disclosed how he was going to pay for the trip and she accused him of being selfish and punishing his children for not following the tradition of taking care of their old parents. "Monica called her siblings, who in turn called me to tell me that if I start to use the inheritance to live a lavish life, then I'm robbing them of the money that their grandparents promised them. They refuse to talk to me to get to an agreement," the post concluded. Sure enough, netizens sided with the father through their comments.
u/beansareso_ wrote, "If the money was promised to them by their grandparents, then the grandparents would have given it to them. It is your money to do as you choose. You’re not spending out of spite, you’re spending to enjoy your life and eventually be able to take care of yourself." u/ContentedRecluse advised, "I would hold up on the trips until you have set aside enough to pay for caretakers and nurses in your old age. Most people would prefer to spend their declining years in their own home being taken care of by private staff and then end up in a nursing home."
u/Garamon7 added, "They don't follow tradition so why should you follow tradition? They think you shouldn't use this money because they want to use this money. This inheritance could grow because the older generation had help from their children, so they didn't have to spend as much money. When this system stops working it goes both ways. If you think that you'll need care when you're older, look for some options to secure your money. Trust fund maybe?"