Dad criticized daughter's 'vain' obsession with marrying a billionaire. Her unexpected reasoning left him tongue-tied
The sudden obsession of marrying a billionaire propelled his daughter to do the things that no father would want for his daughter
A 47-year-old father witnessed how childhood fantasies can quickly turn into a delusion that ends up pulling a blinding cloak over one’s reality. His daughter, like most daughters, suddenly developed an obsession that began to consume her life and his. Suddenly, his 20-year-old daughter became fixated on the notion that she would marry a billionaire. Her stubborn fantasy eventually propelled her to do things that left him distraught and concerned for her safety. In a March 22 post on Reddit, the father (u/No_Reception8930) detailed the entire story, partly to process it and partly to seek suggestions from others.
AITAH for telling my daughter that she is not going to marry a billionaire?
by u/No_Reception8930 in AITAH
His daughter, he said, never had to go through financial insecurity. Everything that was needed was provided, from her study expenses to an iPhone, a tablet, and a MacBook, on the condition that she’d use them to improve her life. She "got into a good university," was "proficient in multiple languages," and also "wrote a book when she was 16, and made it quite successful even." However, over time, the idea that marrying a billionaire was the only way to be happy in life wriggled inside her head and kept hanging there, causing her emotions and actions to spiral out of control. As she frittered away her time fantasizing about billionaires, her school performance continued to decline.
She kept loitering around in hotels and bars, trying to get into elite circles of older men. She even tried getting closer to her stepmom’s brother and other family members who were well-off, trying to create a 'rich' circle she could freely move around in. Eventually, the relatives restricted her from visiting their houses because she started violating their privacy and snapping selfies.
She hadn't always been this way, though. “Something has happened that has made her so obsessed with money, and I have no idea what it is,” said the father. He tried different strategies to comfort her: First, he tried uplifting her by saying she’ll find someone who loves her as much as she does. Then, he tried using logic to change her mind. Finally, the dad confessed that “a very tiny fraction of the world's population are billionaires, and most of them tend to marry each other, so the statistical odds of this billionaire romance happening... are practically zero.”
After trying everything to get his daughter on the right track, he sat down for a conversation. He started with a straightforward point, telling her that she’s an adult and she gets to make her own choices. He clarified that while all these things could be fun, they were not worth losing her education and autonomy. That’s when she broke down and confessed the actual reason behind her drastic change in behavior: Her crush, "the son of a multi-millionaire," had chosen to date her friend over her. "It became a huge fight between my daughter and her friend where they began both trying to get the guy," the dad wrote. The poor girl had thought it all came down to money. To make matters worse, the friend was now spreading "nasty rumors" about her.
After hearing her reasoning, the father was at a complete loss of words. He was confused, and while he wanted to empathize with his daughter, he wrote, "Sure, bullying can be traumatic, but my daughter's reaction still seems indicative of something else." He went on to ask the Reddit forum for advice on how to interpret this, or deal with it better.
A study published in Evolutionary Psychology monitored 2,655 adults and found that women, by default, display a preference for older mates than younger ones, while men prefer younger mates over older ones. Another study in Personal Relationships found that men started with younger partners, and women started with older men before shifting to same-aged partners. Yet a separate study published in PNAS states that women are attracted to younger partners just as much as men. Turns out it varies from individual to individual and from one’s emotional and mental landscape formed by life experiences.
Thousands of people who read the story joined the discussion in the comments section with words of caution for the girl. Many warned that her behaviors sound like a destructive mania or a mental illness. “The sudden shift in behavior. Doing poorly in school, where she previously did well. Engaging in high-stakes risk-taking behavior. Mood swings and inconsolable sobbing. All of these are hallmark signs of a mental health crisis,” alerted u/farcowpoke. u/NYCStoryteller also reinforced the piece of advice, “She needs professional help. She's being a gold digger and stalker, and it's not going to end well for her.”
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