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Dad asks if he's wrong for stopping his daughter from marrying into a racist family

The dad noticed how his daughter's future in-laws were racist during her engagement party. He wondered if he was wrong to tell her not to marry into that family.

Dad asks if he's wrong for stopping his daughter from marrying into a racist family
Representative Cover Image Source: Pexels | Karolina Grabowska; Reddit | u/Federal_Weather3786

Parents tend to look out for their children no matter how much they grow up. Whether it is about their love life, job, parenting, etc., parents say and share their opinions every now and then. But sometimes, their actions might come off as overbearing and interfering with their children. A dad, u/Federal_Weather3786, shared a scenario with his daughter that has left him beyond confused and the man doesn't know what to do next. So he took to Reddit to ask for people's opinions and suggestions on the situation.

Representative Image Source: Pexels | Andrea Piacquadio
Representative Image Source: Pexels | Andrea Piacquadio

"My wife and I worked and lived in a somewhat larger city where my daughter was born. My wife got a job opportunity in one of her employer's field offices and it was too good to pass up. We moved to the boonies when my daughter, Amy, was a pre-teen and we have been here ever since," the dad shared for context. Although people at the place were nice, the family was labeled as "city folks" and could never integrate really well. "Amy came back the summer between her freshman and sophomore year. She got a summer job, which is where she met her fiancé, Dan," the man added. The fiancé came over to the couple's place. The dad started liking him and how he treated their daughter with so much love.


"He is a local and his family have been locals for generations. We rarely met up with his parents, but they also seemed nice when we did. They dated long-distance all through her college years," the man explained. Things were good until the couple finally got engaged and Dan's parents decided to throw an engagement party for the couple. "We had never been there and I was excited to see the home where he grew up and meet his extended family," the enthusiastic dad expressed. The man and his wife did their best to fit in, but they were made fun of because of being from the city. Things were fine until the fiancé's father decided to give a speech. 

"While it wasn't overtly racist, he mentioned how he was happy that his son found a 'nice white girl' and looking forward to 'white grandbabies.'" the dad stated. The people also shared a bit of a family history, which they were quite proud of. "Without going into too much detail, they are descended from members of a hate group," the man revealed. The family didn't react and decided to leave politely. The dad let the thought sit for a while before he decided to talk to his daughter. "She tells me that she was not aware of his family history, but it doesn't change her mind. I don't want her marrying into this family and I told her so," the discussion went on. Amy argued that Dan didn't have the same beliefs as his parents.


The dad was still not convinced and believed that no one could be raised believing that they were from a superior race and internalize that in some way. "She assures me that they have a lifetime for her to point out all the ways his parents are wrong. But I am worried that if they never leave his hometown, there will be too much pushback from his family," the concerned father wrote. The dad wouldn't back down and the daughter wouldn't either, leading them to not talk to each other.

Image Source: Reddit | u/amjay8
Image Source: Reddit | u/amjay8
Image Source: Reddit | u/PunishedQuid
Image Source: Reddit | u/PunishedQuid

People took to the comments to share their opinions. u/Sk111W wrote, "Your heart is in the right place and you can voice your opinions against it, but at the end of the day, it'll be her choice. I'd advise talking to Dan himself (in private if possible). Though, I'm a black person myself and you'd be surprised how often the least racist kids come from the worst parents." u/mzpljc remarked, "Something to consider: she didn't know about his family history until now. That means Dan never brought it up. If the history was important to him, and he was proud of it, he probably would have mentioned it at some point. That doesn't mean he for sure isn't in their fold. It's just an observation. Your concerns are valid. Talk to him."

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