Dad shares priceless advice after son asks to borrow $30K for a lavish wedding

A story shared by Threads user @schztin has sparked a wave of praise and introspection from longtime couples after he recounted a pivotal moment in her fatherhood journey — a conversation that began with his son requesting a large contribution toward his $30,000 wedding. Instead of handing over the check, however, he delivered something far more valuable: perspective. "Dad, can you lend me $10,000 for the wedding?" his son asked. "I raised an eyebrow. 'Ten thousand dollars? How much is the wedding going to cost?'" he inquired. The son explained that they had already emptied their savings and taken out a small loan but were still short. He and his fiancée wanted a beautiful venue and a large guest list — "It’s our big day," he said.

That evening, the father invited them over and asked, "Have you always dreamed of a lavish party… or a happy marriage?" There was a pause, then the fiancée answered, "A happy marriage — of course." He went on to share his own story that included a grand wedding, expensive bills, and no one around when it came time to pay them. "Everyone ate, danced, and left," he said. He had seen couples starting their lives together already drowning in bills, "all for one Instagram-worthy evening," and research shows what he said was right. According to a 2024 U.S. News Survey, 56% of couples went into debt to pay for their weddings, with couples with large weddings being twice as likely to borrow compared to those with small ones.

The son felt uncomfortable after listening to what his father said. "If you can’t help, that’s fine — but the lecture feels harsh," he said. His fiancée gently cut in and said, "Your dad’s right. We can do something smaller, simpler, and focus on what actually matters." That’s when the father opened his desk drawer and pulled out an envelope. "Here’s $20,000, but it’s not for the wedding. Use it for something with real, lasting value: a down payment, an emergency fund, a once-in-a-lifetime trip you’ll remember long after the cake is gone." He ended with one more thought, "A wise couple builds a life, not just a photo album. The measure of a marriage isn’t how it begins, but how it grows day by day."

The post sparked a deeper conversation in the replies, where dozens of longtime couples shared their own experiences, many of which stood in direct contrast to today’s $30,000 average wedding spend. Many said they spent between $25 and $1000 total, not because they were compelled to do it, but by choice, and they didn’t regret it. They believed it set the tone for a more grounded, less pressured start to marriage. They also shared their own stories, proving that weddings don’t need to be expensive to be unforgettable. @christinebakerwellness said, "We need to normalize backyard cake and lunch weddings without shame." @elainecatherinewh wrote, "I hold the unpopular opinion that wedding parties are a huge waste of money."

@karina_rousseau commented, "Wedding in the mountains, camping at a public campground with family and friends. Cost (mostly food) $900. 1984 and 40 years later in 2024." @seejessicasew said, "When my son announced a wedding, I said I will help you buy a house, not a party. They took my offer and got married at a B&B on the beach with just immediate family. They are celebrating 25 yrs and zero debt." @catscrattched wrote, "Spent $2,000 in 1991. Simple, but we have had a wonderful 34 years." @fishy.shawn said, "Married in front of a judge with 2 witnesses. Been married for over 36 years and we’re debt-free and retired in our 50s."