Couple therapist's PSA about phone habits that spell trouble for a marriage sparks debate

Relationships take effort and mutual respect, but sometimes red flags can go unnoticed. A licensed couples therapist, Jonathan (@couplestherapywithjonathan on Instagram), recently highlighted how secretive phone behaviors can signal serious issues. He shared a brief but insightful video that every couple might find valuable.

"Nine red flag phone behaviors that wouldn't see the light of the day in my marriage," the text overlay on his video reads. Jonathan elaborates on those distinct red flags in the caption of his video. "Privacy is important to have in marriages, like when you go to the bathroom. But, watch out if it turns into secrecy cause secrecy kills marriages. Here are nine phone behaviors that my wife and I agreed would never happen in our marriage," Jonathan wrote.

He added that it is not mandatory for everyone reading his post to follow his example because everyone knows what is best for them in their relationship. "But be reassured knowing that at least one other couple in the world isn’t putting up with these disheartening red flags," the caption continued. The first red flag he mentioned was about partners not sharing their passwords. Sharing passwords might not be important but if they keep everything and all their apps strictly locked in their phones, their partners should be concerned.

Jonathan mentioned that the second and third red flags are all about how someone's partner might hide their phones frequently or keep their phones facing down to prevent others from seeing their popping notifications. "Turning your body or phone away from you when they’re on it, closing apps or locking the phone when you approach them and new password change," the caption continues. Sometimes a partner might give extreme reactions if their better half touches their phones without permission. In other cases, they get defensive or angry when they are questioned about why privacy is so important to them. The last red flag that Jonathan writes about is certain people being extremely protective of their phones.

These little facts can cause a rift in a relationship and even break up a marriage and viewers had a lot of diverse opinions to share regarding this issue. @kristeydallsalley commented, "A partner wanting access to your phone all the time is a red flag. That’s not partnership and transparency, it’s control and lack of trust." @amybmagers noted, "It’s amazing how many people are defending keeping secrets from your spouse. Either you’re cheating or you’re trying to feel better about the fact that your partner does this to you." @x.oxosarah recalled, "My ex used to forcefully search through my phone and ridicule me for pictures I had, Pinterest boards, music I saved, convos with friends and then berate me for hours about it. So, I don't really want anyone touching my phone without a good reason."

@adamhudd81 shared, "I’m a divorce attorney. Each of these nine behaviors are questions I ask about electronic devices and/or social media when clients are concerned about their partner’s fidelity. In just about every case involving infidelity, these behaviors are present."

You can follow Jonathan (@couplestherapywithjonathan) on Instagram for more videos on relationship advice.