While thinking about getting married after months of dating, one particular aspect of marriage caused a dispute between them.
Many couples in love can't wait to get married and start a family together. But often, couples fail to ponder over the possible major disagreements that might arise between them due to differences of opinion. One Japanese couple anticipated a probable conflict about their surnames way before getting married and came up with a baffling solution. Since Japanese law compels married couples to use one surname, the pair—both 32 years old—found a hack to switch surnames every three years, according to The Mainichi, a Japanese news site.
Based in Hachioji, Tokyo, the couple met when they were in college and began dating. As their love blossomed, the topic of marriage arose and the woman mentioned that she didn't want her surname to be changed. Her close friends called her by a nickname that was a tweak of her last name and so she cherished it so much that she wanted to retain her surname even after marriage. When the man commented on her wish saying, "Don't women normally change their surnames to the guys'?" it sparked a dispute. When they started working after graduation, their marriage plans were close to being actualized and the discussion of surnames came up again.
The man, who works as a civil servant, heard a weird story at work where a couple altered their surnames every three years. When he told this to his then-girlfriend, she was up for it and the duo decided to do the same after their wedding in 2016. During their honeymoon in Vienna, they drew straws and the husband won. So, they went on to use the man's surname for the first three years of their marriage. The wife, who was an employee for an international company, couldn't use her maiden name at work because of security issues like identity theft. She wasn't happy about being referred to by her legal surname. So, three years after their wedding, the couple got divorced and filed for marriage again, but this time, under the wife's surname.
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When the husband had to use his legal surname, his wife's last name, in work documentation and other paperwork, he felt strange. "In important settings, I was reminded that my name was not my name," he told the news channel. They didn't want to get divorced but they didn't want to change their original surnames either. Their plea to the family court to keep their pre-marriage last names was denied too. That's when the story of film director Kazuhiro Soda and his wife, Kiyoko Kashiwagi caught the pair's attention. Soda and Kashiwagi got married under the New York law in 1997 which allowed them to retain their respective surnames. However, their marriage registration wasn't accepted in Tokyo which forced them to file a case with the Tokyo District Court.
In April 2021, the court ruled for the couple to petition the family court but also acknowledged the couple's marital status in Japan. This was probably the first-of-its-kind scenario where a married couple with different surnames abroad was recognized in Japan. "If many married couples choose the (going abroad) method, there will come a need to proactively debate how their family registers should be filled out," Soda and Kashiwagi's lawyer Hiroyuki Takeshita said. So, the Hachioji couple who were discussed earlier, hopes to try the option that worked out for Soda and Kashiwagi. Though the two 32-year-olds are currently sticking to switching surnames through divorce and remarriage, they are hoping for a more stable solution to live with their pre-marriage surnames.