'If you don't know these things, don't freak out, just ask each other.'
Editor's note: This article was originally published on November 10, 2022. It has since been updated.
The courting stage of a relationship ends when it reaches the six-month mark, and you start to truly settle into your new(ish) partnership. Around this time, the initial rush of infatuation starts to fade and a new, deeper loving bond begins to take its place. Of course, you should be proud of yourself for managing to maintain a relationship over the past few months, but that's not the only thing. According to Jeff Guenther, a licensed professional relationship counselor, you should also ensure that you know these 12 things about your love interest six months into a relationship to make sure you're on the right road in your relationship.
“As a couple’s counselor, I feel like these are some important basics that you’ll want to build on as you continue your relationship,” the therapist had said in a TikTok video that got viewed about 13 million times and got over 1.6 million likes. “If you and your partner can answer nine out of 12 correctly, you’re doing great,” he adds. Jeff tried to reassure his viewers at the start of the video, saying, "If you don't know these things, don't freak out, just ask each other. As a couple's counselor, I feel these are important basics that you want to build on as you continue your relationship."
He asserts that your partner should also be able to answer these questions about you. "If you and your partner can answer nine out of 12 correctly, you're doing great," he adds. The list, according to Jeff, is not all-inclusive, urging his viewers to add any other queries they felt were crucial to learning about a partner up front. Some of the questions were more introspective, such as how their family influences their development and whether they identify as spiritual.
Some others that the Oregon-based therapist suggested were simpler ones; like what is it that makes your partner "laugh and cry.
Here is the full list:
1. What makes them laugh or cry?
2. What are they passionate about?
3. How did their family affect their growth?
4. What makes them mad?
5. Do they have spiritual beliefs and how do they affect their life choices?
6. What are their defining moments?
7. What is the most important to them?
8. How would they define success?
9. What kind of support do they need when they're stressed or sad?
10. What are they the proudest of about themselves?
11. What can instantly light them up inside?
12. How do they recharge their emotional batteries?
The questions on the list were immediately popular, and many followers agreed with the counselor that they were crucial. Many others joked that they are unable to answer these questions regarding themselves. Some claimed that contrary to what they had anticipated, the questions weren't at all "basic." TikTok user @urfavoritefatbitch commented, "Bestie, I can't even answer these for myself." Another user, @girltalkwithjess, joked saying, "I thought this was going to be like, how many siblings do they have." User @leahross86 joked, "Not me 35 years into a relationship with myself with none of the answers."
On Instagram, the video got over 1.6 million views and many hearty comments. Numerous individuals offered their own questions to be added to the list. Instagram User @bikergal09 commented, "You should also know how they deal with conflict. So many people don't have the hard conversations in those early months to avoid conflict, but can they REALLY know each other that way?" TikTok user @runkelstiltskin commented, "Kids, politics, religion, and finances are HUGE to talk about before a commitment." User @thesnappingpoet commented, "I love how this is basically just details of 'what do I need to know to care for the person?'"