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Comedian reveals his grandmother's savage grandkid ranking system and the reason why he got demoted

'We've always been a very jokey, roasty family. It's definitely a way to keep everyone together, and it gets us all talking,' he shared.

Cover Image Source: TikTok/danlamorte
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Mary LaMorte has her favorites and she doesn't care who knows it. The New Jersey grandmother—also known as Nanny—recently went viral on social media when the world came to know of her grandkid ranking board. The hilariously savage ranking system came to light when LaMorte's grandson, New York City-based comedian Dan LaMorte, shared a video on TikTok about how she ranks the grandkids based on their latest actions or activities. In the clip, which has been viewed more than 1.7 million times since being posted earlier this month, the 27-year-old also demonstrated how he gets booted from the 4th position to the last place.

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"This is my grandma's ranking board," Dan says in the video. "She has a wooden board where she ranks the grandchildren from one to 10, all of our faces on magnets. I'm No. 4, the highest I've ever been, but did just get two new tattoos though, so I am a bit nervous about what that's going to do for my ranking." He then approaches his grandmother before lifting up the sleeve of his T-shirt to reveal the new tattoos on his arm. LaMorte immediately gasps in horror and without a moment's hesitation, moves to the ranking board to make some updates to her list.

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"This is what I think of your new tattoos," she is heard saying in the video as she moves Dan from the fourth position to the 10th spot. Dan and LaMorte shed some light on their family's hilarious tradition in an interview with Fox News Digital this week, where they revealed that it all started as a joke gift in 2015. "My grandson, Christopher, and his girlfriend... they made it, and they brought it over to us," LaMorte said. "They had all the cousins' names and pictures, and so we hung it up in our house." 

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"It was always an inside joke that there were favorites in the family," Dan chimed in. "So, that's how the board was made." Breaking down how she promotes or demotes a grandkid, LaMorte explained that her rankings are based on different milestones and behaviors, including having babies and coming to visit her—or not visiting her often enough. "My grandson just had a new baby, so he goes to the top because it's a very good, happy moment," she said. "And I'm not going to even get into demotions. Tattoos? That'll do it every time."

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Meanwhile, Dan revealed that the top two spots are "pretty locked in" by one cousin who is a veterinarian and another who is a dentist. "It's a good system to keep the family encouraged to kind of stay close together, to always make sure you're checking in," he said.

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However, they will not be adding any great-grandkids into the race. "We don't put them on the board because we're scared they [might] get ranked above us," Dan admitted. "They're younger and cuter, and they haven't messed up as much. We've always been a very jokey, roasty family. It's definitely a way to keep everyone together, and it gets us all talking. I was very lucky with four funny grandparents who are all still alive. I always grew up with someone telling jokes—and Nanny would always tell you never to take yourself too seriously."

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