Daughter’s reaction to her mom picking her up from school shows just how hard 50/50 custody can be

Samantha Roxanne (@roxsam13) shared an emotional moment between her and her daughter, which profoundly captures how difficult 50/50 custody can be sometimes. The video, posted on her account, shows Roxanne picking up her daughter after several days apart. It was meant to be a brief visit, but the reaction it sparked laid bare just how much her daughter, Joni Capri, had been feeling in those five days. As soon as she saw her mother outside the school, the child ran forward, beaming. "MOM! I'm gonna stay with you?" she asked excitedly.

Roxanne replied, "Not today, but you're gonna be with me for a little bit." That was enough to make Capri leap with joy, shouting "Yeah!" until the emotion caught up with her. Through tears, she said, "Mom, I was crying for you. Where were you for days?" Roxanne shared the clip with the caption, "The heartbreaking side of equal custody, and the hardest part is knowing her little heart feels every minute we’re apart. I barely held it together. I picked her up and gave her a big, tight hug. Five days felt like forever!"

The case with Roxanne's daughter is something many children with joint custody have to go through. Studies have found that while joint custody can offer children stability and equal time with both parents, the transitions between households can be emotionally taxing, especially for younger children. According to a 2023 systematic review in PLOS ONE, which analyzed 39 studies on post-separation living arrangements, most children in shared physical custody arrangements (living 30–70% of the time with each parent) show similar emotional, behavioral, relational, physical, and educational outcomes to those in nuclear families. The review also highlighted that younger children may experience instability and stress linked to frequent moves between homes, suggesting that even short separations from a primary caregiver can be overwhelming.

People couldn’t help empathizing with the little girl’s pain, echoing how hard shared custody can be on young children. @escobarj711 said, "You can tell she does not want 50/50 custody, she wants 100 percent mom." @themomtrotter shared, "Honestly, 50/50 custody doesn’t always work for the child. Each child is different, with different needs at different ages. I think it’s important to assess what the child needs and what makes sense." @michellegarciamolina0 noted, "Aww, she was happy and sad at the same time. She loves her mommy."

Some shared similar stories and experiences of their own. @14.rzns wrote, "As a dad with 50/50 custody, it sucks when my daughter cries when I pick her up and she wants to go with her mom. I try my best to be a good dad, and I will always be there for her." @user123456789911121313 commented, "I'm an elementary school counselor, and it breaks my heart. The kiddos always prefer Mom's house. Not that dad is bad, it's just at that age...little need their moms." @romanceboring shared, I'm a child of divorce, and my parents had 50/50 custody. There were so many moments where I just wanted my mom, especially after she moved two states away and I couldn't see her except for every other."

You can follow Samantha Roxanne (@roxsam13) on TikTok for more parenting content.