Child-free woman challenges society’s double standard on what qualifies as a 'true family'

Having children is a deeply personal decision, yet many young, happily married couples face societal pressure to start a family. Being a caregiver is no small task, demanding round-the-clock dedication. Kristen, a 29-year-old millennial married to her husband of two years (and together for ten), recently addressed this topic on TikTok, where she goes by @oldsoulentries. In her video, Kristen challenged society's "double standards" that only view couples with children as families, igniting a meaningful conversation about living a child-free life without judgment.

Kristen began by recalling a video she recently saw while scrolling through social media, where a person was criticized by a friend for spending too much time with their spouse. “I think there’s a humongous double standard between people who have kids and are married and those who don’t have kids and are married,” the influencer said. She pointed out that couples who choose to spend time with their children are often praised, while those living a child-free life are not. Kristen noted that this differential treatment could be harmful, as it might affect individuals' mental well-being.

“When you have kids and are married, it is openly celebrated. It is encouraged and seen as an accomplishment if you spend a lot of time together as a family,” the video creator remarked, adding that prioritizing family in such situations is often lauded. However, if partners choose to lead a child-free life, they are often criticized for prioritizing each other or their careers. Kristen, who described herself as an old soul, explained: “If you don’t have kids and spend a lot of time with your spouse or partner, those people receive much more flack for doing it.” According to the influencer, these societal validations should not be taken seriously, as couples who live without children could also be happy together.

Kristen emphasized that a child-free couple's bond is just as meaningful as any family. “You still really love this person. You still really like spending time with this person. It’s still technically your family. And just because you don’t have kids doesn’t mean that you two aren’t like family at that point,” Kristen added in her video. The millennial woman claimed she never felt the need to think about this issue until recent years. While praising her husband for providing her with a sense of family, she added, “We might never have kids, and that doesn’t make us any less of a family.”

“Nobody’s made me feel bad about spending time with my husband, but I have seen other people who have been made to feel really bad about it. And, I just don’t understand because the goal is to really love and like your partner and want to spend that time with them,” Kristen concluded, inviting a variety of reactions from the online community. “I’ve always hated the phrase ‘we’re starting a family’ when it comes to trying for or having children. Like, were you two strangers until the kid arrived?” @saph_5 agreed. “As someone who is 30 and has been with my husband for 10 years, people don’t take you seriously as a family until you have kids,” @ahumada602 remarked.

You can follow Kristen (@oldsoulentries) on TikTok for more relationship-related and lifestyle content.