She took in her jobless brother, cooked for him and did his laundry. A clash over his girlfriend made him storm out — and send a $735 bill
Even their mom snuck her nose into their business and asked the author to at least give him 40%
Helping out a struggling sibling is an act of love, but love alone cannot pay the bills. u/One_Scheme899 opened her home to her brother after he lost his job a year ago. She did not ask him to pay rent, but he had to contribute $67.91 for groceries, gas, internet, and other utilities. However, he moved out in anger after one argument about his girlfriend. Two days later, he sent her a $735 bill and blocked her. The post was shared on September 23, 2026, and it has since garnered 383 upvotes and 95 comments.
AITA for refusing to give my brother back the money he contributed toward household expenses after he decided to move out?
by u/One_Scheme899 in AITApod
Girlfriend's 'new home'
A few months after the author's brother moved in, he got a job but continued to live with her to save money, which she had no problem with. She cooked for him, bought groceries, did his laundry, and packed him lunch with no extra charge. However, problems began when her brother started seeing someone. In the beginning, his girlfriend would stay over only on the weekends. Then it became more frequent. She would stay half of the week at the author's house doing everything like showering, cooking, and leaving her clothes and toiletries around. She acted like she owned the place. The author's issue was that she did not pay for any of the utilities.
'Give some of my money back'
One night, the author got home at 9 p.m. after a long day of work and found eight people in her living room. Apparently, her brother was celebrating his girlfriend's birthday. She did not know about his plans and asked them to leave. The following day, he confronted her for embarrassing him. He said he was tired of her reminding him that it was her house, so he packed up his things and left. Two days later, he messaged her and asked for some of the $735.64 he had given over the year.
She thought he was joking, but when she realized he was not, she wrote, "I told him he lived there for almost a year, used the utilities, ate food I paid for, had me cooking, washing his clothes, and packing lunches, and his girlfriend stayed there constantly without paying anything."
Mom involved in sibling quarrel
Instead of being understanding, her brother fired back, "If I knew I wasn’t getting that money back, I would’ve rented a room." Even their mom snuck her nose into their business and asked the author to at least give him back $282.94, almost 40% of the total amount. When she refused, he said, "Keep the money if it means more to you than having a relationship with me," and then blocked her. The author felt bad that money was ruining their relationship, but she knew it was a fair ask since he used the food, utilities, and other resources.
Main cause of sibling fights
Money can be a powerful thing that has the power to divide families. A 2017 survey by Ameriprise found that 15% of siblings had altercations about money with their siblings. The majority of the squabbles included parents (68%) as the main reason. Other common sources of conflict included spending habits (56%), differences in income (46%), and repaying borrowed money (33%).
'Don't enable him'
The majority of people in the comment section were advising the author not to return the money. u/Zeal_of_Zebras wrote, "Ask him if he thinks your landlord is going to refund your rent when you move out? Or the electric company, your electric bills? This is such a bizarre request." u/WhoKnows1973 pointed out, "Your mother has been enabling him so long that he expects to be supported. NTA."
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