Bride insisted she's 'not a total bridezilla' after telling bridesmaids to pay for their dresses, hair and makeup. They left her on read
A bride thought she was simply making sure her bridesmaids knew what they were signing up for
People have mixed opinions on who should actually pay for the bridesmaids' dresses, shoes, and makeup. An individual who goes by u/springflowers2016 took to Reddit to share a screenshot of a Facebook post shared by a bride. She wanted to know why her bridesmaids left her on read after she sent a message in the group. She claimed that she did not want to be a 'bridezilla,' and even edited her text three times "not to sound mean." The post received 990 upvotes and 251 comments.
Strict wedding rules
Shared on September 10, 2021, the bride's message had a few requirements and non-negotiables. She sent it beforehand so that everyone would be on the same page. The first requirement was to finalize a date in December or January that would work for everyone since they would be going dress shopping "as a group." Secondly, all the bridesmaids had to pay for their own dresses, shoes, makeup, and hair. She even attached a few makeup and hair inspiration photos, as well as photos for the dresses and bouquets. Another rule for the bridesmaids was that they should have natural-colored hair. It was mentioned as a "MUST." The bride already decided who was walking with who, and it was "NOT negotiable." Furthermore, she added that she was paying for their bouquets, but she wouldn't mind if they wanted to pay for their own flowers. The bride ended her message saying she just wanted all of them to be on the "same page," and that they were "100% on board with it."
Who should cover the costs?
A November 2024 Instagram poll by The Bridal Journey showed just how divided opinions remain over who should pay for different parts of a wedding party's attire. While 984 respondents believed brides should pay for bridesmaid dresses, 927 disagreed. A reader expressed their opinion, "I opted to put towards a set amount and let them pick the dress that suits them." The divide was even sharper over shoes: 1,527 respondents said bridesmaids should pay, compared with 425 who believed the bride should cover the cost. Hair and makeup, however, were different, with 1,538 respondents saying the bride should pay compared with 424 who disagreed. One reader said that paying for hair and makeup depended on the bride's arrangements: "If it’s required, it should be paid for by the bride." But the bridesmaids in this case were given little say in the matter. They were expected to pay for their own dresses, shoes, hair and makeup, while the bride had already decided everything from their hair color to who would walk with whom.
Nothing too crazy
People understood that the bride did not want to be a bridezilla. Some even said that what she asked for was not too crazy, but it was the way she phrased her message that ticked people off. A comment from a deleted user said, "Words like 'have to,' 'must,' 'no negotiation,' etc. are red flags to a bull. Where is the 'ask'? It's all about a military show with the colonel at the forefront. Stating that everyone has to pay for their own dresses, makeup, etc. It should have been discussed with each bridesmaid individually to ensure they were comfortable. What you are asking is not so bad, but it's the way in which you are asking." u/GenX-IA added, "Maybe I've read too many bridezilla stories; this is pretty tame. A little tacky asking to help pay for flowers, but none of these demands/requests are out of the ordinary."
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