Bride tells 'bridesmaid' sister to skip wedding photos for not fitting the ‘aesthetic.’ She’s ready to walk away
'She said I could still stand by her at the altar, but when it's time for pictures, I should just hang back...'
A woman (u/petra_sollberg on Reddit), 26, was excited when her sister first asked to be her bridesmaid. However, her happiness was short-lived, as a week later, her sister, 29, insisted she shouldn't be in pictures because she apparently didn't fit the aesthetics. The outrageous story was posted on October 2, 2025.
When the bride-to-be asked her sister to be her bridesmaid, she was so excited that she had even started looking out for outfits and felt "really included" in the ceremony. However, things changed when the bride called her sister privately and said she wanted her at the wedding but not in the pictures. The reason? Well, she felt that her sister wouldn't fit her aesthetic. "I was completely shocked. She said I could still stand by her at the altar, but when it's time for pictures, I should 'just hang back,'" she recalled. The sister was obviously humiliated and had a hard time figuring out if she should attend the wedding anymore. Confused, she turned to Reddit to ask, "I don't want to ruin her day, but this feels cruel. Am I overreacting?"
My sister is getting married and asked me to be a bridesmaid, but secretly told me she doesn't want me in any photos
byu/Petra_Sollberg inTwoHotTakes
Weddings today feel more like photo ops than celebrations of love and union. People, in fact, are so obsessed with documenting every moment that the wedding feels like a movie set. Emphasizing it, Mark Niemierko, a wedding planner, told The Guardian, "Sometimes I’ve got to remind them (the couples) that it’s a celebration. There’s a load of tradition around it, but it’s about celebration and bringing people together and looking after your guests and not turning it into a photoshoot."
Meanwhile, the Reddit post received an overwhelming response; in fact, people came out in support of the sister and lashed out at the to-be-bride for her rude remarks. For instance, u/careless-image-885 commented, "Your sister is selfish and cruel. She asked you to be a bridesmaid so you can fund her showers, events, venues, flowers, etc. Tell her, 'No, thank you. I would prefer to be a spectator.' Text her with 'I understand that you don't want me in any of your pictures. What exactly do you mean by not fitting your aesthetic?' Get her to respond by text with her nastiness and blast her on social media."
u/the_dark_viper suggested, "Do what is best for YOU. If you don't want to go, don't go. Your mental health and well-being are of the utmost importance. Just as you don't fit her aesthetic, she and her wedding don't fit your wellness. She may get married several more times, but there is only one you." u/lynne1915 wrote, "Just say thanks, but no thanks to her insulting invite to be a bridesmaid. Go as a guest dressed to kill and make your presence known to the other guests. If you have a boyfriend, make sure he is also dressed very well. When someone asks why you are not a bridesmaid, answer with 'My sister's decision,' and ask her why she didn't want you to be in the photos." u/vibe_me_pos commented, "Say no to being a bridesmaid, no to the wedding, and no to your sister. I can’t believe how cruel she is being because of some stupid aesthetic concept she saw on SM. She should be ashamed of herself. I realize I sound old, but she really should be. I would be if I did that to my sister."
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