Her stepmom’s words exposed the truth about her absent father — so she cut him from the only wedding ritual he cared about
She never had a close relationship with her father, but after knowing the truth, she couldn't help but invite him to her wedding as a mere guest
Is it merely a biological process that makes a man someone’s father, or is it a bonding that requires lifelong nurturing, love, attention, and care? Unfortunately, one woman (u/odysseys_kitten) had to go through this dilemma for several years of her life. Despite being alive, her father remained absent and neglectful towards her for most of her young years. When she grew up and found a match to marry, the dilemma escalated, and she was forced to wonder whether she should allow her father to walk her down the wedding aisle. After knowing a truth about him, she chose not to. To find some answer, she asked Reddit if she took a wrong decision in asking her brother Jake to walk her down the aisle, even though her father was left disappointed by being called out as merely a guest.
She and her father were never close
The drama of her life began around 25 years ago from the date of the post. “25ish years ago two dumb 20-year-olds got drunk and made me. They had and still have nothing in common, don't particularly like one another, but for some reason decided to keep me,” she wrote. When she was just six, her father married a woman named Hildy, and over the years, she got to have six half-siblings, two from the same dad. Even though he continued to pay child support, there was no quality time, no vacations, not even adequate communication. She saw him at most once a month or on holidays.
Her stepmother resented her
The turning point came one day when Hildy got drunk and blurted out a truth her father had been suppressing for long. Her stepmother told her that her dad basically blocked her and just paid child support and had minimal custody, and that too because his parents shamed him for being a deadbeat. The woman said she was resentful for having her husband’s money go to her child support. She even told the girl that she wished she had skipped college.
Replacing the father figure
Over the years, as the girl chose her life partner, a 25-year-old man named John, she was struck with the dilemma whether or not to allow her father to walk her down the aisle. She could have allowed him, probably, but after having that conversation with Hildy, she decided not to. She felt lucky to be marrying John and didn’t want her father’s presence in the aisle to ruin the special occasion. However, the moment her father came to know about her decision, he marched into her house, seemingly disappointed and aggressive.
Her reaction was plain fury
She lashed back by venting out all the rage that had been fuming inside her for years. She raved that any father probably didn’t ignore and neglect their daughter the way he did or bereave them of vacations and quality time. According to psychologists, her reaction would have been understandable given that she suffered years of neglect. According to a study published in the Journal of Family and Marriage, 26% of adults report estrangement from their fathers due to child neglect. Around 27.7% of daughters are likely to be estranged from their fathers as compared to 24.3% estrangement in sons. She didn’t mention her father's conclusive reaction, but Reddit readers were quick to jump in to her defense and reassure her that she did the right thing.
What does Reddit have to say?
u/therealsatansweasel commented, “Your dad ‘gave you away’ years ago; it just wasn't symbolic in a wedding. No need to apologize or give him fair warning about the ceremony." u/Apprehensive_War9612 remarked, “Quite simply, your father has only done the least amount he could get away with and not be called a deadbeat. As you said, you have not asked him for anything; you’ve never assumed you were entitled to anything from him. So he absolutely is not entitled to anything from you. Including walking you down the aisle.”
More on Scoop Upworthy
Bride left heartbroken after dad refuses father-daughter dance — then someone unexpected stepped up
Bride's father gives tear-jerking speech while giving her away to the groom: 'My precious daughter'
Share on Facebook
