Bride sends 'tacky' note to guests who didn’t RSVP — but it was the bizarre request that took the cake

A bride-to-be is facing strong backlash after mailing a "you will be missed" card to people who declined her invitation or didn’t respond on time, and adding a prompt to send a gift anyway. "We are so sorry you cannot make it. You are receiving this to let you know that your name will not be among those attending the wedding. This is either because you declined the invitation or you did not RSVP on time. Either way, you will be missed," the card read. The next line, printed in a larger font, said: "If you still want to send the couple a gift, there is still time," followed by a link to the couple’s online registry.

In her now-deleted Reddit post that was reshared by Daily Mail, the bride said the medieval styling matches their Lord of the Rings–themed wedding. She admitted that she had added the gift line to "fill space" and said she’d already sent multiple reminder texts to guests who hadn’t replied. "I just don’t want people showing up expecting a spot," she wrote. For someone who’s already declined to attend, receiving a card that still requests a gift can feel like an unnecessary extra ask, especially given how costly weddings are for guests to begin with. A Bankrate national survey found that US guests spend an average of $611 per wedding on travel, attire, and gifts. Etiquette experts note that these extra requests can leave guests with a sour impression of the couple, even if the intention was harmless.

Most commenters were clearly unimpressed and stunned to read the bizarre demand. One person wrote, "This was just a horrible idea. Terrible. I’m getting a sinking ick feeling just seeing it." Another said, "Nice try, but there’s no way to make this less tacky." Some mocked the wording, with one saying, "OMG it’s basically, 'So sorry you ghosted our party, no seat for you now! Please send a gift in your place; there’s plenty of room at the gift table.'"

One questioned the expectation behind the card, "If the person invited didn’t think enough of the bride and groom to actually respond, I highly doubt they’re going to send a gift. Either way, it seems really tacky to send this out." Some were fixated on presentation choices. "It wouldn’t be too bad if the gift part was not in all caps, omg. On a side note, not tacky at all, really, but I guess off-putting? I’d be less likely to send a gift," one user said.

A smaller group defended the couple’s intent. "To be fair, she clearly states that multiple reminders have been sent. At that point, it’s entirely on the guest, and it’s reasonable to take their silence as a no and clarify that," one commenter explained. Another added, "I fully get them wanting to make it known that there won’t be space if someone didn’t RSVP, but it really only needs to be more of a letter, not a notice." A third said, "I see the appeal of notifying someone that they haven’t RSVP’d, so you aren’t expecting them, but I’m not sure there is a polite way to do that." One offered a simple solution, writing, "I was thinking they could shrink the card even further to nothing and not send this passive-aggressive travesty at all."