Bride shares over-the-top rules for her bridal party and it's raising eyebrows

Planning a wedding can bring out the best or the worst in people, and one South Carolina bride’s approach to managing her bridal party has sparked heated debates online. Shay Stewart—who goes by @soldbyshay843 on Instagram—shared a rather unusual set of rules that she insisted be followed by her bridesmaids at her bridal party. “Rules for a BRIDAL PARTY that I will share every day,” the bride began her post, outlining a list of demands. She further wrote, "It’s NOT your day. Do what the bride asks or don’t be in the wedding."

She continued to highlight what she considered non-negotiable expectations for her bridesmaids. “If the bride wants makeup or certain hair for everyone, and you don’t wear makeup—don’t be in the wedding,” she insisted. The bride was not shy about elaborating on her views, adding that complaints about her decisions would only make her bridal party “look jealous.” She even included a dig at those resistant to her rules, writing, “It’s usually the ones who scream, ‘I don’t want all that,’ who end up looking less flattering than everyone else.” However, she did leave some exceptions, "Now hair can be flexible if you have a specific style (locs, pixie cut, etc.)."

Her demands did not stop at appearances. The bride made it clear that she expected unwavering loyalty from her bridesmaids. “You are TEAM BRIDE. If you wish to act like anything less, switch to TEAM GUEST. Have a seat and throw rice (preferably uncooked),” she wrote. Financial obligations were another major point, with the bride admonishing anyone who might try to save money. “If you can’t afford to be in the wedding, let the bride know upfront. Don’t accept and then penny-pinch, especially if it’s one year or more out. Plan accordingly,” she wrote. She concluded the post by once again reminding those who read it, "Will be sharing this everyday till the wedding."

Her post quickly made its way to Reddit, where u/Apart_Abies_5963 shared screenshots of her “Rules for a Bridal Party,” which went viral. People flooded the comments section, calling out her behavior. “See, even when I was a bride myself, I didn’t believe the nonsense about it being MY day. There were 120 people there (not the least of which was my husband), which made it all of our day. If I want to have a day that’s MY day, I ought to spend it by myself. If I want to have family and friends to travel to celebrate with me, and close friends to be in my wedding party, I need to be thinking about their comfort and happiness too,” u/hilarymeggin wrote. u/HumanXeroxMachine commented, "I get the feeling that people that hark on about 'my day' would be tolerable if they confined the behavior to that single day but they don't and it spans months."

u/3oelleo3 pointed out, "I love the 'you look jealous part' that tells me everything I need to know about what being her friend is like!" u/Break_Fancy took a more humorous approach to their criticism. “At least she’s giving everyone a daily chance to join 'Team not going,''' they quipped. u/Sassy-Peanut added, “Yup, definitely joining 'Team not going' and going to make it my day by doing something more interesting."

You can follow Shay Stewart (@soldbyshay843) on Instagram for more wedding content and updates.