A bride-to-be refused to let her fiancé's ex speak at their wedding, facing pressure and criticism from family members who insisted she was overreacting.
While there's nothing wrong with being friends with an ex, it can sometimes create uncomfortable situations for a current partner. Maintaining a cordial relationship with an ex is possible, but their presence can stir up old feelings or create tension. In some cases, the current partner might feel blindsided by the continued involvement of the ex. This situation unfolded for a woman, known as u/resident-necessary75 on Reddit, when her fiancé's ex-girlfriend, Katy, asked to give a speech at their wedding.
The woman began by explaining the connection between her fiancé and Katy. They had dated for several years before parting ways, and it was clear they knew each other well. "She still comes around since she's close to his family. By how much time they had spent together, Katy seemed to know my fiance really well,"she shared. Initially, the woman wasn’t bothered by Katy’s presence, but things took a turn when Katy asked if she could give a speech at their wedding. The ex-girlfriend wanted to share "a few funny stories" about the groom.
"I felt extremely uncomfortable and told her I was sorry, but I didn't think it was appropriate for her to do that. My future mother-in-law got involved and started lecturing me, saying I needed to stop being negative and claiming I was making this 'about me' (but that's my wedding!)" she revealed. Meanwhile, the fiancé chose to stay out of the situation, leaving all the pressure on the bride-to-be. She was called "oversensitive" and told that Katy giving a speech would add more fun to the event.
"But to be completely honest here, I don't want his ex to take any part in our wedding, even if she's a friend of the family and they'd known her since she was a teenager," she concluded. The Reddit post received an overwhelming response, with many supporting the woman. For instance, u/z00111111 wrote, "I don't have a fundamental issue with a partner still being friends with an ex, but the fiancé really is in the middle of this and needs to say no to his ex and tell his family to back down. The only people that should be making speeches are the best man, the maid of honor and the parents of the bride and groom."
u/fabulouspossession73 commented, "It sounds to me like the ex is trying to demonstrate to everybody that she was the main woman in his life and this new girl (OP) is just some flash in the pan or something. It's rather insulting." Meanwhile, u/pixie-ann added, "Everyone here is varying degrees of w***er. Katy should grow a brain. No, it's not appropriate for her to speak at your wedding. Mother-in-law needs to butt out! The husband needs to grow a damn spine and support you. I'd be furious with them right now if I were you. Why are they staying out of it? Can they not see that if you're uncomfortable with their ex-partner speaking at your wedding, then it's just not going to happen?"