Groom's mom loaned the couple $30K for their wedding but then made a ridiculous request about their cash gifts

Weddings can be hectic, especially when you have an entitled mother-in-law who wants to steal all your wedding gifts from the guests. That's exactly what happened to a bride-to-be (u/consistent_menu_2437) from Singapore. Her fiancé's mom got herself involved in the wedding planning and invited 300 guests from her side. Moreover, the MIL announced that she would keep all the wedding gifts from people she had invited to the wedding. The bride-to-be was obviously not happy with the whole setup and decided to flip the script without letting the MIL intervene any further. She posted the incident on Reddit on December 7. 

As per the post, the mother-in-law had invited mostly her friends and church members, and had also lent her son and future daughter-in-law $30k to help arrange their $80k wedding. She wanted to keep all cash gifts from her guests because she felt like it was her right. "Her reason is that she has previously given them gifts when she attended their occasions, so she feels those returns belong to her," the bride-to-be said. Now, the bride had fewer than 100 guests from her side, and she was arranging for the wedding without any help from her parents. The bride-to-be said it felt unfair because the cash gifts might exceed the amount her MIL would loan them.

"If we end up receiving around 70,000 in monetary gifts, and if 50,000 of that comes from her relatives, church members, and friends, that already exceeds the 30,000 she is loaning. Yet she still expects us to return that 30,000 to her," the woman explained her only concern. In the end, the couple decided to postpone their wedding until June 2027. Moreover, they reduced their guest list to only 300 people overall and also decided against taking any money from the MIL. "She did say she doesn’t want the cash after all and still will love to give us a 30k loan if we can do our wedding next year. And then she realized after his sis explained, and she felt so bad she cried and wanted to help with the wedding, but we refused," the bride-to-be wrote. 

In most cultures, it's common for parents to either pay for their kids' weddings or loan them money. In fact, a 2016 survey by The Knot found that parents from each side contribute almost equally to the overall budget. They also found that only 10% of couples paid for their wedding without depending on anyone financially. While there should be no shame in taking your family's help, financial independence may also mean saying yes to their input on the wedding. In this incident, the MIL insisted on giving them $30k for their wedding, but in return, she had some unrealistic expectations that literally forced the couple to postpone their marriage. 

Reacting to the Reddit post, u/hotcupcakes23 commented, "She chose to give gifts to others. It has nothing to do with you or your wedding. Wedding gifts belong to the bride." u/substantial_glove_95 pointed out, "Remember that when you marry, you’re marrying into the in-laws and their ridiculous ridiculousness. I can’t imagine grabbing up the cash from my child’s wedding like that. Have your fiancé set her straight. If he can’t set her straight now, he never will, and you’re going to be dealing with it until you die."

u/z-eldapin suggested, "The guests are gifting YOU. If your MIL wants to be paid back for gifting her friends, she needs to ask them. Make sure that you have a dedicated person monitoring the card box, etc.  If MIL tries to do anything funny, get on that microphone and tell everyone that she took the gifts that they intended to give you."

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