Bride asks sister to ditch her wheelchair for wedding 'aesthetics' — she gave a deserved response

A woman (u/dtron81x) refused to attend her sister's marriage after she said her wheelchair didn't match the wedding day "aesthetics." So, she went on Reddit to narrate her story and find out if she'd gone too far with her decision.

She had been in a wheelchair since she was 19, and her sister, getting married in the near future, asked her to be her bridesmaid. "I was really touched and said yes immediately," the 27-year-old recalled. However, things got serious when her sister sat her down to explain how she should find a way to ditch the wheelchair for her "vintage garden" theme wedding. "She didn’t want my chair in the photos because it would 'distract' from the look she was going for," the woman wrote. She told her sister that it would be impossible for her not to use the wheelchair and that it was insulting for her to ask something like that. The bride-to-be then suggested she sit in the back so the wheelchair wouldn't be noticeable. "I was devastated and told her if my presence in a wheelchair embarrassed her that much, I wouldn’t come at all. Now my family is torn. My mom says I was right to set boundaries, but my dad says I’m being dramatic and it’s 'just one day.' My sister is crying that I’m ruining her wedding by refusing to compromise," the woman wrote.

Disabled people navigate various challenges to live a dignified life, and sadly, many are even discriminated against and called out for their limitations. Just like the woman in the story, a survey by Statistics Canada found that nearly 2.9 million people with special needs in 2022 had at least one negative experience in the past 12 months. Now, understand that these barriers are not physical; rather, they stem from others' behavior.

The author's sister faced heavy criticism from netizens who called her out for her insensitivity. For example, u/sofa_queen commented, "Wow. What? Don't use the wheelchair YOU DESPERATELY NEED because it'll ruin her 'AESTHETIC'? And it's 'Just for one day'? NTJ, but your dad and your sister sure are. Does her fiancé know about this request? I would stay home. If/when people ask you why you weren't there, be honest, and say, 'My sister said my wheelchair didn't vibe with her vision.'" Another user, u/ok-refrigerator2000, wrote, "NTJ! The only one ruining the wedding is the sister being embarrassed by your existence. She is showing you exactly who she is and what she thinks of you all the time. Don't go. And it is time to reevaluate your relationship. Might be best to go no contact if she thinks so little of you."

u/civil_feeling4201 said, "Your dad is the reason your sister felt comfortable asking you such an inappropriate question; he’s her enabler. Stick to your guns, OP, and don’t back down; this is completely bizarre and selfish, asking you to compromise your disability just for 'aesthetics.' I could never ask anyone, let alone my own sister, to put their disability aside for any reason. OP, don’t back down! The wheelchair is a part of you, and if your sister can’t respect that, it’s more than just a wheelchair issue. She clearly has zero emotional intelligence or empathy. Does her fiancé even know she made this request?"

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