She said yes to being her childhood bestfriend's maid of honor. But a $4,600 spreadsheet made her question their 17-year-old friendship
The bride was upset when her friend refused to spend almost $5,000 at her wedding, and said money is a part of 'showing up'
Being someone's maid of honor is a huge responsibility, but that does not mean they must comply with the bride's unrealistic demands. On June 29, in a post shared by a woman (u/west-environment3462), she revealed that being her childhood bestie's maid of honor nearly burned a hole in her pocket. Well, the author was thrilled to take up the big role at the wedding, until the bride sent her a $4,700 spreadsheet of all the expenses she had to cover. Her post went viral and has received over 5,000 upvotes on Reddit.
My best friend asked me to be her maid of honor and then sent me a spreadsheet of what it will cost
by u/West-Environment3462 in bridezillas
A $4,700 shocker
The author and her friend had known each other since middle school. In fact, they had promised to be at each other's weddings. So when the author's best friend got engaged in April, she readily agreed to be her maid of honor. However, a few days later, the author received a spreadsheet listing all the expenses she had to cover at her friend's wedding. These include the dress, alterations, shoes, hair and makeup, bridal shower contribution, bachelorette accommodations, transportation, matching pyjamas, and more. All of it amounted to $4,700.
Even though the author had some savings, she couldn't afford to spend nearly $5,000 at her BFF's wedding. She had other bills to pay and told her friend the same. The author clearly communicated that she had money for the dress but could contribute to the rest by helping with planning and showing up. What the bride said next hurt her deeply.
A costly friendship
"She said this is once in her life, and she did not want to spend the next year managing other people’s limitations," the author recalled her BFF's reaction. According to the bride, "money is part of showing up." Since then, the author stopped responding to the wedding group chat. She added that for 17 years, she had been with her friend through hell and back but did not realize that their friendship "had a minimum spend."
Bridesmaid budget 101
When it comes to weddings, there are certain things a bridesmaid should and shouldn't have to pay for. Expert wedding planners revealed that bridesmaids should pay for their own dress and shoes, travel and accommodation, bachelorette parties within a limit, and a bridal shower (whoever is hosting). Wedding planner and founder of Plannie.com, Annie Lee, said, "My take is that if you're having an expensive destination wedding, skip the expensive destination bachelorette party as a courtesy to friends' schedules and wallets." On the other hand, things bridesmaids shouldn't have to pay for include hair and makeup, wedding flowers, and transportation and food on the wedding day. Meanwhile, the Wedding Wire in 2017 found that in the West and Southwest (expensive), bridesmaids were expected to spend at least $1,360 at a wedding, and in the Midwest (least expensive), they're expected to pay $1,100. The author's bill was more than triple the usual bridesmaid's expenses.
'She is a textbook bridezilla'
The comment section was astounded by the number on the spreadsheet. Reacting to the post, u/DazzlingPotion commented, "Step down. You’ll regret it if you don’t. And my bet is you can expect the costs to increase from her spreadsheet estimate." u/grated_testes wrote, "You did not fail anything. She is being a textbook bridezilla. I'd graciously [and publicly] step back from this money pit of a bridal party and be ready for the friendship to be over. Also, I'd privately pity the groom."
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