Boyfriend invites friends to his birthday dinner—then expects his girlfriend to foot the bill

It’s incredibly sweet to plan a dinner for someone special, especially on their birthday. But what happens when the person brings more people without informing their partner and expects them to pay for everyone? This is the situation 20-year-old u/dreamingblondie found herself in when she tried to make her 21-year-old boyfriend Ryan’s birthday special by taking him out on a dinner date. When she realized that Ryan expected her to cover the cost for his friend and his girlfriend, she refused. This resulted in Ryan calling her "selfish." She shared her dilemma on Reddit, asking for people’s honest opinions.

"I have been dating my boyfriend 'Ryan' for about a year. For his birthday this year, I wanted to do something special, so I told him I'd take him out to a nice dinner. Just the two of us, and I'd cover the bill. He was super excited and agreed. So I made a reservation at a nice restaurant, put on a nice dress and was so excited to see his reaction," she wrote in the post. However, she soon realized that her boyfriend had invited his best friend and his girlfriend without informing her. "He hadn't mentioned anything about them coming. I was caught off guard but thought, 'Why not have a nice couple dinner?'"

She then explained how the best friend and his girlfriend ordered a ton of appetizers and multiple drinks each. "I started panicking a little because I realized this bill was going to be way more than I'd planned for," she wrote. Towards the end of the dinner, her boyfriend leaned over and said, "Don't forget, you said you'd cover it." That's when she told him that she had agreed to pay just for the two of them. He responded, saying it was "rude" to invite people to dinner and not pay for them. This infuriated the woman, and she snapped back, "It's ruder to invite people to a dinner that someone else is paying for without telling them first."

"I already had the feeling to explode out of anger, so I just went quiet and waited for the waiter to finally pay. When the check came, I paid for my meal and his and told his buddy that he should cover the bill for himself and his girlfriend. Both looked at me as if I had insulted them in some way, saying I embarrassed them in front of the server," she wrote in the post. The boyfriend even called her "cheap" and accused her of ruining his birthday. Towards the end of the post, the woman wrote that her boyfriend had stopped speaking to her since the incident. She was considering breaking up with him and asked the Reddit community for advice on what to do next.

People in the comments unanimously sided with the young woman. "Unless he's told his friend and friend's girlfriend that OP had specifically invited them and said she'd cover it. Either way, OP is not wrong, but her boyfriend is a *ick," wrote u/Motor-Class-8686. "Don't apologize and break up with him. It won't get any better from now on," added u/brisblan. "I just can't imagine someone 'forcing' their partner to unexpectedly pay for four adults (because I bet he thought you'd be too embarrassed and pay without complaint). Man, this comes across as someone who is trying to make you feel like s**t for no reason," said u/shpudem.