Mom-of-three refuses to join rich boyfriend's 'unaffordable' vacation. His insensitive 'solution' made it worse

A woman, 36, found her relationship with her boyfriend crumbling after she refused to go on an expensive vacation with him and his family. In August 2025, she (u/hellobungalow) shared her story on Reddit, asking people if she was wrong to stand her ground.

The woman had been dating her boyfriend for three years and shared a son. She also had two daughters from her previous relationship. "My oldest is out of the house in college, and my middle is 9, and I share 50/50 [custody] with her dad (we have a good coparenting relationship)," the woman explained. Moving on, she explained that her boyfriend earned double her income and paid the mortgage, while she covered all household expenses. "He pays his own car payment and insurance and phone bill, as do I. We do not have any combined accounts/money. Which we’re both ok with," she added. The woman, working in the finance department, worked from home to avoid childcare expenses for their son. For about a year, she had been looking for a new job with better pay, but nothing had worked in her favor. "I’ve been on 2 interviews; that’s it. I am more than willing to work back in the office if the pay is worth it to put our little guy in daycare," she added.

The problem began when her boyfriend and his family planned a vacation to a prominent ski resort. The woman was expected to pay for herself and her daughter, while her boyfriend would pay for their son. "They are going for 7 days, and the Airbnb would equal about $150 a person a night, plus all the snowboarding gear for me and my daughter," she explained. The woman was unsure about the whole plan, especially because she didn't have much to spend on such an extravagant vacation. "My son's birthday is at the beginning of December, then there is Christmas, and then my daughter's birthday is 3 days after; there's just no way without going into credit card debt," she said. However, her boyfriend, instead of supporting her, blamed her for refusing to go on the family vacation. "He is mad at me and not talking to me now, saying I can start saving now. Well, I am, for Christmas and birthdays. And by income difference, I mean I make $24 an hour and he makes $50. Everyone in his family makes 6 figures," she said. Just like them, money has been a major topic of conflict between most modern couples. In fact, an Ipsos poll conducted on behalf of BMO found that 34% of partnered Americans view money as a source of conflict in their relationship. Now, this figure goes even higher (47%) among the young couples (18-24 years old). 

Meanwhile, supporting the woman, u/unserious-dude wrote, "NTA. If you can't afford it, you don't go. Besides, he is your BF and not your husband with joint financial accounts and management." Another user, u/imf4rds, said, "NTA. I am single with no children. That being said, in my last relationship, we had to travel for my partner's friend's wedding. From the East Coast to the West Coast, he paid for my flight and hotel. I paid for food and transportation. We didn't live together. He wanted me to be there with him, and I would have done the same if it were my friends' weddings that required travel, because I wanted him there. You cannot afford it. You have to put your financial responsibilities and children first. If he really wants you to go, he could offer to pay for you. You are not married, I understand, but you share a child, so to me it's a worthy investment. You are NTA. You are being responsible."

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