He demanded 50% of his girlfriend’s home because he paid rent — her reply shut him down

Being in a relationship doesn’t automatically mean “what’s mine is yours, and what’s yours is mine,” but one woman found herself dealing with a partner who thought otherwise. Posting as u/Former_Raspberry3277, the 34-year-old said she owns a house in San Diego that she bought five years ago, well before dating her now 36-year-old boyfriend. The two have been together for two years, and when his lease ended recently, he moved in three weeks ago after discussions about the arrangement. She asked him to pay $1,400 in rent to cover part of the mortgage and utilities — far less than what he paid before — but he still wasn’t happy with it.

Three weeks after the boyfriend moved in, he decided to have a talk with her regarding the house situation. She wrote, "He told me it doesn't feel right paying me rent when we're building a life together and that if he's contributing to the mortgage, he should have [an] ownership stake in the house." She declined his request because she bought the house with her own money before she even met him, and he said that was the exact problem.

"I still think of it as mine instead of ours," the woman wrote. Her boyfriend asked to be added to the deed, or at least sign a document stating that he would get back all the money he paid for rent. She declined and explained to him that it was not how renting worked. "He said his friends think it's sketchy that I'm profiting off him and treating him like a tenant instead of a partner," she said.

Trying a different tactic, the boyfriend brought up the previous conversations they had about getting engaged. "[He] said if I'm serious about a future with him, I should be willing to share the house," but she did not waver. She said she would think about it if they were married, but for now, the home is her asset, and she is not putting his name on it. He was not happy with her answer and called her "controlling," but he did not stop there. 

The man also said that since his girlfriend did not trust him enough with the house ownership, he should move out. Surprisingly, the author's sister was on the boyfriend's side, saying two years was good enough "if you want to build equity together," but her best friend was convinced that he was just trying to manipulate her into owning half of her house. 

In today's economy, most people are unable to purchase and own a house on their own; that's why it is not surprising that many are opting for co-ownership. According to a CoBuy survey, 61 million Americans (almost 20% of the population) co-own a house with someone who is not their spouse. The number of home co-owners actually grew from 50 million to 61 million in a span of just four years. The study highlights the fact that there is a growing number of people who are co-owning houses with others, but the author's situation is different. She is one of the few who are able to afford a house of their own and is not ready to just sign away half her property to someone else.

People in the comments strongly advised the author not to give in and sign his name on the house. u/Countrycruiser2000 wrote, "That's a husband request, and he's currently on the boyfriend plan." u/LawyerSensitive2317 commented, "NTA. If y'all were married, this would be a different discussion (and one I would approach totally differently.) But just your boyfriend? No. There's no real, legal commitment that would stop him from taking half of your house, forcing a sale, and profiting off of you and your hard work."

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