Bartender noticed two women being harassed — so she passed a quiet note that said far more than words

Trigger warning: This article contains information about sexual harassment that might be triggering for some readers. 

Carobi Parada McCoy (@carobiparada on Instagram), a woman from Miami, was at a bar with her friend when a bartender secretly slipped a note to them. They were confused at first, but a quick look at her message replaced their lingering confusion with a profound sense of understanding. She shared her experience through a video posted on January 29.

McCoy had gone to a bar with her "bestie" and was enjoying her time when a guy, perhaps, approached them. But before they could sense any danger, a female bartender working that day stepped in for the ladies. She grabbed a tissue, wrote a message on it, and secretly gave it to them. Confused, McCoy and her friend looked at the note and were clearly moved by the beautiful gesture. The bartender assumed the ladies were uncomfortable around the guy, so she just wanted to assure them that they were safe. "If he is a little weird with you guys, let me know," she wrote in her note, hoping to make the ladies feel secure. McCoy was so overwhelmed that she couldn't stop herself from posting it on social media. She described it as one of the quiet ways that women stand for each other. "A bartender slipped this note to me and my bestie last night. Girlhood is so special," she wrote.

Sadly, unpleasant experiences with men in public places such as bars or restaurants aren't unusual; in fact, a study (When Women Do Not Want It) across 153 young female bargoers (aged 19-29) revealed shocking data against women's safety. Researchers found that over 75% of respondents reported experiencing unwanted sexual touching, persistent advances, or both while out drinking. Sexual harassment has become very common in public places; a YouGov survey of over 1,000 Americans found 52% of respondents say someone has commented on their "attractiveness" while talking to them. Whereas, nearly half (46%) reported uncomfortable situations where someone was constantly looking at their breasts. The same survey found 44% of respondents saying they have been subjected to a sexual joke, while 39% said they have been cat-called.

Now, bartenders who've seen such incidents more frequently have grown more cautious about making women feel safe at their bars. In fact, programs like "Safer Bars" train bartenders and other staff to recognize danger and step in to prevent any awful situation. Similarly, "angel shot," the concept first introduced at a bar in Florida, has been widely used across the USA and beyond. It's not a drink but a discreet way of telling a bartender that you aren't feeling safe. There are basically three types of angel shots: neat, with ice, and with lime, and each one is a code with a hidden message for the bartender. When a customer feels uncomfortable by the presence of someone, all they need to do is order an angel shot using a specific code, and the bartender will know exactly how to help them.

You can follow Carobi Parada McCoy (@carobiparada) on Instagram for more lifestyle content.

If you or anyone you know is facing sexual harassment, they can reach out to the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE

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