Author says funny people likely used it as a 'coping mechanism' to overcome a difficult childhood

We all know someone who has an incredible sense of humor—able to bring light to any situation and make others laugh effortlessly. These people often brighten everyone’s day with their fun or goofy personality. But how do they always manage to be so witty? Author Alain De Botton shared a surprising insight into this on the “Great Company Podcast.” He explained that there’s often a deep connection between humor and a person’s childhood, which can shape their funny personality.

De Botton explained that while adults may have a well-developed sense of humor, its origins can be quite unusual. “People who are funny often grew up in circumstances that were not funny at all,” he explained. Jamie Laing, host of the podcast, pitched in with an instance that he recalled upon hearing the author’s words. He said, “That’s interesting because Jimmy Carr told me, ‘People often ask me if I’m depressed because I am a comedian.’ I tell them, ‘You should ask if my parents were depressed.’” De agreed with the comedian's concept and said that humor or wit is often a coping mechanism for kids to “ward off their parents’ depression.” 

“Children come into the world and all of us are honed by nature to figure out what we need to do to survive,” he shared. Sharing how things work out differently in different families, De pointed out, “In some families, you may need to excel academically. In some families, you may need to fail academically,” he revealed. Laing asked why failing would be a necessity to survive and De surprisingly revealed, “Parents’ envy.” “Some parents are envious and cannot bear that their child whom they have put on the earth be happier than they have managed to be.” He then shared that even wit or humor comes as a need for a child to survive.

“In some families, you need to have wit or be invisible,” he pointed out. “Family’s a difficult place and dynamics occur that go way beyond what we are able to tolerate,” he added. The author shared the baffling idea that humor can often have a dark past and take root from a place of need and survival. A difficult childhood can cause children to turn to humor and find comedy to cope. Several people agreed with De’s words and shared that there is truth in this analogy. @yashfadhli added, “Comedy = trauma + intelligence.” @crowafflebambi remarked, “Some people become funny to cope with the trauma or life’s too heavy.” 

@nisheink added, “Fun and comedy is a way to escape, deal and cope with reality.” Many shared their own example in agreement with the theory. @brittanyfurlan wrote, “Yup. Had to be the clown so no one would fight.” @caait_21 commented, “I’m absolutely hilarious and I had a very traumatic childhood so it makes sense.” @feelsforkc shared, “Families are so interesting, they will literally make or break you.” @iammilliereid exclaimed, “Humor was our medicine. When the tears stop, the jokes are made; it's more of a coping mechanism!”

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