He brings her to the beach every day to relive their 1st date — wearing a T-shirt with heartbreaking request

Movies like “The Notebook” have set our expectations high about love, making us believe that someone will remember everything about us when we forget ourselves. While most people would call this “fictional,” this couple is here to make us believe otherwise with their eternal love. Manly Observer — who goes by the username @manlyobserver on Instagram — shared a video of the couple and what makes their love flourish despite the hurdles caused by dementia.

The video that was shared on February 5, 2024, begins with Jim and Maureen sitting beside each other while he shares, “Doctors predicted her demise, and she’s lived 3 years beyond that. And I put it down to the fact that she comes here and is enriched by the people who come up to us.” Jim and Maureen have been a couple for over 56 years now, happily thriving in their marriage until, unfortunately, Maureen was diagnosed with dementia in 2021. He believes that visiting Manly is what makes her feel alive.

However, he noticed that his wife would often lend her hand to strangers to feel seen, but it would always go unnoticed. He, therefore, came up with a plan — he designed custom T-shirts with “My beautiful wife has dementia, please say ‘Hello’ to her,” and wore them so strangers would greet her, which in turn would make her feel loved and cared for. He shares how people have been very nice to them, especially foreigners who always say “Hello” and address Maureen by name when passing by.

Jim shares, “Our first date was to go to Queenscliff beach, that’s the first time I held Maureen’s hand. And every day when I come to the beach, we walk down to Queenscliff and I remind her that this is where we first held hands. But she doesn’t understand.” An article by the outlet reveals Jim’s ideology: “My philosophy is [that] each day, I want to give Maureen the best day she can have. That statement stems from when she came out of the hospital, and each day could have been her last. We’re very lucky. With dementia, I hear that people change their personality. But she’s the same happy person.”

According to a study by Meng Huo and others, “Spousal dementia may present unprecedented challenges to older adults and influence their own well-being. The stress process model identifies various stressors that may be encountered by older adults when they have family members living with dementia. Exposure to such stressors is typically greater in the case of spousal dementia, given that couples often share the same households.” The study adds that the stress may change its form over time as they adapt to the condition.

Another study by Linda Rykkje and others talks about males caring for their wives with dementia: “There are some differences in the caregiving roles of men and women. Research suggest that males report lower burden and depression than female caregivers, but some men struggle to adjust to the caregiver role, and men are less likely to access health care services… Acknowledging the rewards of caregiving, the husbands found their life meaningful, and they were thriving in their caregiving role.”

Many viewers showed their support for the couple in the video. @gurtaj.indian wrote, “Wishing these beautiful couples all the best,” while @akikolavafierce exclaimed, “This is too sweet. Would you let me know when, what time, and where they walk? I would love to talk to them!” @mark_mitterhuber shared, “My dad died from dementia about 6 weeks ago. I really appreciate the time we had together.” Finally, @rosiedownunda expressed, “This touched my heart and planted a seed of inspiration in my soul. May we all remember Jim’s messages of wisdom and love. Look around and see who you can connect with. Say hello — you might just make their day! Love your loved ones and give them the very best days you possibly can — never know if it might be their last.”