92-year-old grandma lists hilarious funeral rules: 'Get drunk but don't cry too much'

Editor's note: This article was originally published on April 5, 2022. It has since been updated.

Not many people plan their own funerals, but this 92-year-old grandma got quite specific. Though Grandma Droniak has no plans to die soon, she felt strongly enough about her send-off to specify three ground rules for her funeral and listed them in a video she posted to TikTok. "These are the rules at my funeral," she starts. "Listen up, you could cry but don't cry too much. Don't make a fool of yourself." Grandma Droniak's eyes contort as she continues, "Bertha is not invited. Don't let her in." People were curious to know who Bertha was and their backstory, but Droniak wasn't done with the rules yet.

She then listed out the final rule. "Get drunk afterward. Take a shot for me." The video reached an astonishing 20.5 million views and 3.9 million likes. Grandma Droniak has more than 3.9 million followers as well. When one user questioned if they could get drunk during the funeral as well, Grandma Droniak gave her blessing. She captioned the video, “It won't be any time soon but don’t forget it.”

TikTok users desperately wanted an update on Bertha and what she could have possibly done to be the one person in the whole world to get banned from Grandma Droniak's future funeral. “WE NEED STORY-TIME ON BERTHA PLEASE!!! WHO IS SHE AND WHY ISN'T SHE INVITED?” screamed one user. Many others joined in as well. "Lmaoooo I need storytime on Bertha," wrote another. One person didn't even wait for the story but declared Bertha was canceled. Grandma Droniak didn't reveal the reason but promised to tell the story one day. “I’ll tell you about it soon,” she said in the comments. People overwhelmingly sided with Grandma Droniak. "If Bertha shows up. There will be two funerals," joked one user. "C'mon guys let’s guard the door from Bertha 🚪🪓" wrote one user. 

Grandma Droniak often doles out advice and when it comes from a sassy 92-year-old woman, you take it. In one video, she doled out dating advice and listed what she expected of men. "Flosses every day. Has a dog or cat. Buys me drinks. Says I'm pretty every morning," she wrote. She even went as far as saying this was the minimum standard she expected from men and called on people to dump men who didn't meet this standard. She then listed her red flag list for men as well. "If he doesn't hold the door open, it's not that hard," she started. "If he doesn't like bingo, I don't date him because I love bingo." She continued, "If he doesn't keep soup for me in the refrigerator because I always like soup and need soup."

"If he doesn't call me pretty all the time, I don't want nothing to do with him," she concluded. Tinder responded, writing, "Yes to knowing and establishing your worth, Grandma!" The video was liked 1.3 million times. "No soup - no thank you 🚩" wrote one person, while another added, "Don’t play with nanas soup she never has enufa." One person wrote, "Taking this down and implementing this in my dating life, thank you."