We've compiled 20 of the best tweets from women that transcend age, nationality, gender and more to give you a good laugh today.
Editor's note: This article was originally published on August 11, 2021. It has since been updated.
It could be the centuries of patriarchal oppression or the burden of all the multitasking society expects from us that's caused it, but most women seem to have an exceptionally dark sense of humor. While I have no scientific proof to back up that totally made-up statement, a brief scroll through Twitter is all it'll take you to see what has contributed to this belief. Amid the chaotic mess that is the Twitterverse, countless brave women have over the years given us some of the most rib-tickling internet moments. From salty observations about day-to-day life as women to venting about the creeps that plague their inboxes, their tired minds certainly seem to know how to blend humor with insightful comments.
Here we've compiled 20 of the best tweets from women that transcend age, nationality, gender and more to give you a good laugh today:
I hate when a couple argues in public but I missed the start and don't know whose side I'm on.— Sandra (@Sanbel11) June 29, 2017
I just got a man kicked out of the bar for slapping my ass. I have never seen a man so appalled and confused for seeing a woman stick up for herself. Happy 2017 bitch, get the fuck out— Haley (@ohhhhhHaleNo) November 12, 2017
How come when a house is 'haunted' its always a ghost from the 1700s? imagine a ghost from 2007 screaming "ITS BRITNEY BITCH" at 3 am.— Amber Joy (@officialambrjoy) September 18, 2017
my dad once said "do what you hate first thing in the morning to get it out of the way" then 2 mos later called me on my birthday at 6am— Ariana Lenarsky (@aardvarsk) September 18, 2017
man I had no idea you could buy this. I’ve just been using drugs and alcohol pic.twitter.com/RziVhnvoY3— Jennaclaire (@jennaaclaire) February 12, 2018
How much spinach I start cooking vs how much I end up with. pic.twitter.com/DWmWEKQFkm— Simply TC (@BienSur_JeTaime) January 5, 2018
“i’m not like other men.” pic.twitter.com/JZXSmcgfpE— Bev Gooden ✨ (@bevtgooden) November 21, 2017
Took off my bra and forgot what I was mad about— Charlene deGuzman (@charstarlene) September 18, 2017
Uterus: Look! I put up the wall paper for the new baby!— sēˈerə (@SierraHighKey) December 7, 2017
Body: yeah... There isn't a baby. Not this month.
Body: please dont...
Uterus: You do this all the time These false alarms. IM DONE. I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE. *Rips down wall paper*
-The menstrual cycle
Didn’t have time to go into town, so drew a circle on Ryan’s hand so he could buy me the correct size of hoop earrings 🌚😂 pic.twitter.com/FQCklF1PYa— JJ🖤 (@jadepops1999) February 14, 2018
i may be messy but im ORGANISED messy. if i need eyelash glue i KNOW that theres a tube on the floor under the left side of my bed bc i saw it there when i was looking for other shit i needed and i memorised its specific and random location for future uses— maja anushka (@majaanushka) January 13, 2018
I JUST ASKED SIRI IF A CERTAIN BOY WOULD EVER TEXT ME AND SHE SENT A TEXT SAYING WILL YOU EVER TEXT ME TO HIM. My funeral will be held at 8pm this Thursday.— Ceci ✮ (@CeciMula) January 17, 2018
I got a bunch of dental surgery and while waiting for a cab to go home a dude catcalled me so I just let a ton of blood fall out my mouth— zoë “lycan subscribe” quinn (@UnburntWitch) August 24, 2017
My husband didn’t have Snapchat so I convinced him to download it “because it will be fun!” and the first request he received was from his ex-girlfriend, so I deleted my husband’s Snapchat bc what grown man needs a stupid Snapchat anyway.— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) February 17, 2018
OKAYY SOO... ladies, DON’T YOU DARE BUY THE GALAXY BATH BOMB FROM KROGER. S.E.R.I.O.U.S.L.Y.— Rebekah Butler (@rebekahGbutler) February 19, 2018
I was in the bath for a solid 5 minutes and now I am a freaking SMURF. It seriously dyed my skin. So to everyone I snapchat, enjoy looking at my forehead till I am no longer a smurf..😂 pic.twitter.com/yTvO62XTSB
Let's call super-skinny jeans for dudes "girlfriend jeans" since roomy button-downs for women are called "boyfriend shirts"— Christy Havranek (@diopter) September 21, 2017
me (not caffeinated): anxious— mar (@maryjennaa) November 20, 2017
me (caffeinated): anxious, but faster
God, I could really get used to this strange new world of Men Experiencing Consequences.— Iron Spike (@Iron_Spike) November 10, 2017
mom: when are u giving me grandkids— lauren (@laurDIY) August 15, 2017
me: what u mean pic.twitter.com/Q8osOgXINs
Me: I just want to be the center of someone's universe— Bae West (@mommywhitfield) July 22, 2017
Also me: Not like that