25 tweets about how couples spend their weekends that redefine the essence of 'marital bliss'
People often take to the internet to vent, rant or simply make amusing observations about their relationships and the weekends seem to be a popular topic.
People usually dream of having weekends where they rest or hang out with friends and family. However, that's not often the case with couples. They either finish pending household chores or have to be somewhere with their kids. There is no way they can get rest after working hard throughout the week. And that's exactly what these couples shared on X. People spoke about partners starting a house project despite promising not to do anything on the weekend or someone booking back-to-back activities despite being an introvert. So, in short, weekends never go the way how people imagine it to.
One of the best examples is this tweet posted by @reallifemommy3 on X. She wrote, "I told my husband he can’t do yard work every weekend because we need to make memories while the kids are young, so now we’ll be cleaning out the gutters as a family next weekend." The other tweets shared by people feature similar stories full of sarcasm and hilarious instances. So, check out the 25 hilarious tweets from married couples on how they spend their weekends together and it will leave you in splits.
1. Lol.
Idiot award goes to my husband who has spent these past rainy months doggedly training for a marathon on Sunday... only to find this week that he never actually registered for it.
— Louise Mumford (@louise_mumford) April 26, 2024
2. Perfectly. Fine.
My husband chose this weekend to attempt to build a stone patio for his grill. Anyhoooo I’m just watching him destroy our backyard two days before an outdoor party we are throwing. It’s fine. Everything is fine. Perfectly. Fine.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) May 7, 2022
3. It's great
This is a great weekend to clean out the garage, according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.
— The Dad (@thedad) May 27, 2023
4. Wow!
I told my husband he can’t do yard work every weekend because we need to make memories while the kids are young, so now apparently we’ll be cleaning out the gutters as a family next weekend
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) July 9, 2023
5. Good idea
As my wife kissed us goodbye and headed out for her "girls' trip," she said, "I hope the house is as clean as I left it when I get back." I should just check into a hotel with the kids for the weekend, right?
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) April 22, 2022
6. Quiet grace. Lol.
I am my most ninja-like when my wife is still sleeping peacefully on weekend mornings, as I try to soundlessly slip out of the bedroom. While, on the rare occasions that I get to sleep in, she manages to leave the room with all the quiet grace of a 1970s Led Zeppelin hotel visit.
— Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) February 17, 2024
7. Silence
My husband thinks I let him sleep in on the weekends because he works all week but really, it's because I'd rather drink my morning coffee in silence.
— Ｍｏｍｚｉｌｌａ (@milliondollrfam) March 30, 2019
8. Surprise! Surprise!
My wife deleted her Facebook app and now I don’t know which events I’ll go to on the weekend
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) September 22, 2020
9. Haha!
Spending the weekend painting our bedroom because my husband and I felt like it had been too long since we’d fought about how much paint to use before refilling the roller and who takes too many breaks to drink coffee.
— Tori Fletcher (@hellotorifletch) March 13, 2021
10. What a match
Ah yes, the first NFL Sunday of the year, the day I sit on the couch with my wife while she watches every single football game and I scroll Instagram to see which WNBA players are flirting with each other.
— Heather Hogan (@theheatherhogan) September 12, 2021
11. I can do it all!
my husband: I need to take it easy this weekend
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) May 27, 2023
also, my husband: I’m just going to cut down the tree in the front yard
12. No, please
10: Can we go to the science center instead of hiking this weekend?
— AparnaRC (@Wordesse) August 21, 2021
Husband: No, we can't change plans.
10: Why not?
Husband:
Husband: Because they're your mom's plans.
13. Win-win
Every Sunday my husband glares at me because I don’t change out of pjs but at the end of the week I have less laundry so I win
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) August 9, 2020
14. Party time!
WIFE: [watching me unwrap a 10th piece of candy] how many of those are you going to eat?
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) November 7, 2020
ME: it’s the weekend, this is how i party now
15. Oh no!
My husband asked if I could swing by Costco on a Saturday, so he's either gone insane or mad at me about something.
— Hollie Harris (@allholls) April 20, 2024
16. How?
My husband planned back-to-back activities for us this weekend like he forgot we’re both introverts.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) October 20, 2023
17. Amazing!
this weekend we power washed the outside of our house because we know how to keep the marriage spark alive
— nika (@nikalamity) October 15, 2023
18. What a life!
Let's get married & have kids so instead of enjoying brunch on Sunday you can get syrup out of hair while I scrape the burnt off of toast.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) April 21, 2024
19. "85-year-old man"
My husband & I finally got away for a weekend & he tweaked his back. I had to help him out of bed this morning like he was an 85 year old man.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) May 4, 2024
Yes, this is exactly what I had envisioned.
20. Same same but different
my husband asked me for a divorce this weekend. I mean, he suggested we put peel and stick tiles on the ceiling, so, same-same
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) June 5, 2023
21. Rage vacuuming
The best way to work out on a Sunday is by rage-vacuuming while your spouse naps, which burns way more calories than regular weekday vacuuming.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) April 25, 2022
22. That's every couple
The biggest lie my wife & I tell ourselves is this will be the weekend we remember to donate those boxes of clothes
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) July 17, 2022
23. Cancelled it is
If it's Friday and your wife leaves the tape measure out, cancel your weekend plans.
— dADDisms (@Beagz) April 2, 2021
24. Red alert
Wife asks if you're planning to do anything on Saturday🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
— 🌜🤷♂️ 🤯Dad Moon Rising🤯 🤷♂️🌛 (@raoulvilla) October 14, 2021
25. True that
Making Sunday breakfast before marriage: Cute and fun
— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) March 29, 2020
Making Sunday breakfast after marriage and kids: Rage beating eggs and passive aggressively burning bacon
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