There are few greater sources of comedy than a baby that simply refuses to do what you ask of it. Your tragedy is everyone else's comedy.
Editor's note: This article was originally published on April 11, 2022. It has since been updated.
Raising kids is equal parts fun and equal parts nightmare. Parenting is 24/7 where sleep becomes a theoretical concept. Even as you navigate the daily tantrums, the near-constant crying, the dirty diapers and spilled food, humor can be a source of relief. Children are a great source of comedy because they are not conditioned to the world and go about their business as they please. Rules certainly don't apply to them. Parents often post hilarious content on Twitter about their daily battles with their kids, and here are some of the best we came across:
What doesn't kill you wakes you up at 5 am asking for cereal and Peppa Pig.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) August 4, 2021
This past weekend I moved to another country, and people are like “omg! So jealous! You live in paradise, now you can relax!” And it’s like I’m sorry there seems to have been some miscommunication I still brought my kids with me so no.
— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) August 16, 2021
Somewhere between asking me for a banana and me giving him the banana, 4 decided he didn’t like bananas anymore
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) August 3, 2021
Every single parent in the history of kid’s birthday parties who was offered a slice of pizza and declined really wanted that pizza.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 5, 2021
My 7yo wanted me to be her child when playing house, so I begged her for snacks and made her watch my "cool tricks," and within a few minutes, she sent me to my room so she wouldn't have to deal with me.
— Raw Motherhood (@MetteAngerhofer) August 12, 2021
My son has a shirt that says, “my dad can beat up your dad,” and honestly I don’t like the pressure
— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) August 25, 2021
Me: In my day, we didn’t have social media
— The Dad (@thedad) August 19, 2021
My kid: In your day, Jurassic Park was a documentary
My two favorite things in life are being with my kids and not being with my kids.
— The Spicy Disaster Mama (@spicydisasterma) August 12, 2021
Welcome to parenting. People who actually eat dirt will now criticize your cooking.
— The Nefarious A-Aron (@deeprocktees) August 16, 2021
My kids love playing pretend. My 9yo pretends to be a dinosaur and my 13yo pretends she doesn’t know us.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 3, 2021
ME AS A KID: i wish i was an adult so i could do whatever i want
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) August 18, 2021
ME AS AN ADULT: i wish i was a kid so i could do whatever i want
When people say that my son looks just like me, my wife always says “doctors say there’s nothing they can do.”
— The Dad (@thedad) August 22, 2021
6YO: Can I eat a cookie?
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) August 2, 2021
Me: Finish your dinner first
6YO: My stomach is full except for a circle shaped space
Son: dad can I get tiktok?
— The Dad (@thedad) August 18, 2021
Me: omg *whispering to wife* at his age shouldn't he be calling it a clock by now
my three year old daughter told me she used the potty and I accidentally said “yessss bitch!” and held out my hand for a high five
— Ely Kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) August 16, 2021
Welcome to parenting. You have now become Kid’s Name’s Mom in everyone’s phone.
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) August 16, 2021
I'm not saying my kids come to me for everything but if I was on fire & my husband was 10 feet away, they'd still ask me for a snack.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) August 3, 2021
Parenting is telling your kid they can’t have a cookie before bed knowing full well you’ll have an entire sleeve of cookies after they go to bed.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) August 13, 2021
Age 2: Terrible Two
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) August 10, 2021
Ages 3-5: Terrible Too
My 6-year-old recently learned about nutrition and now whenever he wants a snack, he comes up behind me and whispers in my ear, “I need food to survive.”
— Kiss my Fat Ash🍑 (@Tobi_Is_Fab) August 5, 2021
I asked the kids if there was anything they wanted from the grocery store and the first thing my daughter asked was, “how is our cheese situation”
— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) August 19, 2021
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