25 times children made creative use of the English language to be savage
Perhaps it is their innocence that makes them dish out savage observations without worrying about how they might be perceived by another person
As innocent as they are — for the most part at least — children often have a habit of being absolutely ruthless with their words. Perhaps it is their very innocence which enables them to dish out savage responses or observations without worrying about how they might be perceived by another person. Since kids don't find the need to sugarcoat their words, parents often take it upon themselves to try and teach their little ones that it's not very nice to blurt out their opinions even if they are technically true. However, thanks to the incredibly creative minds of young humans, this doesn't always work out the way parents hope.
Earlier this year, Twitter user @AlixEHarrow shared how her 4-year-old came up with clever new phrases to say the food is "gross" after the child was informed that using the g-word at the dinner table was rude. "Having been told that it's rude to call dinner 'gross,' our 4-year-old is finding increasingly creative ways to express himself. 'This tastes....... unlucky to me,' 'this sends my mouth into outer space. (that's bad)...' 'cauliflower is'--[pinches fingers together]--'this much delicious,'" they tweeted. "'Let him listen to audiobooks all day,' we said, 'what's the harm,' but now we have a 4-year-old who says his sweet potatoes are 'suspicious' and 'too violent in his mouth.'"
"let him listen to audiobooks all day," we said, "what's the harm," but now we have a 4yo who says his sweet potatoes are "suspicious" and "too violent in his mouth"
— Alix E. Harrow (updates only!) (@AlixEHarrow) January 21, 2021
The tweet prompted other parents to share the many innovative ways in which their kids have used the English language to say what's on their minds. Here are 25 of our favorites:
1.
Toast is ‘too spicy’ for my kid (he’s 13!) 🤦♀️ My 16yo daughter thinks sparkling water tastes like TV static so I have at least one creative type.
— Hot Box (@NicolaEverson) January 21, 2021
2.
My kid said tonight "I miss when dinner would be like randomly good. I haven't been feeling it for a while now."
— Alicia (@aliciaaaaah) January 22, 2021
Kids are something else, man.
3.
When I was a kid, I told my mum her gravy tasted like dog food. 30 years later, she still isn’t over it but incorrectly attributes the statement to my sister. So I’ve come out of this smelling of roses 😌
— Soph (@soap84) January 22, 2021
4.
My boychild (around 4/5 at the time) once came home raving about having eaten pancakes. I didn't know he liked them and excitedly made him some the next day. He looked at them and said 'not all pancakes are the same are they mummy?'
— Sara Clark (@saracclark) January 22, 2021
5.
My 6 year old recently came at me with "Dad, I love you more than anything, but I unlove this food the same amount."
— Rusty Shackleford (@zeb_hillard) January 22, 2021
6.
I remember my kid around this age saying that broccoli did not have as strong a desire to be eaten as, say, mac & cheese, and the apples I had just given him “tasted like sadness”
— Annika Dukes (@annikadukes) January 21, 2021
7.
8.
I will never forget the face of our 4-year-old, when his Dad, irritated, told him to at least taste his food properly, and he tasted it and replied, with absolutely fake enthusiasm:
— Maria Cecilia (@MeanieMary) January 21, 2021
"Oh, wow, how lucky I am." pic.twitter.com/i9PF7efbc1
9.
My 3-year-old mostly says, “I don’t care for it,” but tonight she came strong with, “We have black muffins at school. They taste like a spoonful of ghosts,” this evening. Honestly unclear whether that’s a yay or nay on the muffins.
— Tayla Burney (@taylakaye) January 23, 2021
10.
Once I tried a new recipe when mine was 3 or 4. He didn't say anything bad about it, just continuously told me throughout dinner to never make it again.
— Lego Mom (@StacyMcCall) January 21, 2021
11.
My younger once told me she couldn't eat something because "my teeth are tired".
— Creepy Old Cat Crone. Boo!🎃 🐾🐈⬛ (@anne_d13) January 22, 2021
12.
Mine has always thanked me for cooking dinner. He is 12 and still does every evening. When he was about 8 he told me how that was NOT his favorite recipe, but he still appreciated my effort. 🤣
— KBurnett (@kelbursc) January 22, 2021
13.
I taught my 3 yo to say “I haven’t learned to like this yet” but usually first he says “WOW, this is REALLY not for me” 😂
— Stacey (@_vidyala) January 21, 2021
14.
My favorite backhanded compliment was my son telling me I’m an excellent cook; I just don’t cook food that people like to eat
— 😷 (@SInSeattle75) January 22, 2021
15.
After asking our 7yo not to express distaste in front of the easily-influenced 3yo, she now says, “This tastes good, but I would prefer not to have any more.” Only we know that is the darkest shade.
— Elizabeth is fine. (@neverliz) January 22, 2021
16.
I had a friend who told her kid he wasn’t allowed to say that he hated the food, so he resorted to saying “I can’t love it” and I still use it
— gab (@backpackchalupa) January 22, 2021
17.
My 3 year old says things are "dangerous" when he doesn't like them. Things that are dangerous:
— END QUALIFIED IMMUNITY (@HPLA25) January 22, 2021
Blowing your nose
Going to bed on time
Eating peas that have touched carrots
18.
“Would it hurt your feelings if I told you this soup tastes like vomit?” he was maybe 7
— Kat Mask Replica (@kmctee) January 23, 2021
19.
My 3 year old avoids asking for ice cream by saying he needs something cold and sweet and “sorta creamy” for a snack.
— dom (@DJ_Babayaga) January 22, 2021
20.
Four year old grandson: I feel sorry for mushrooms. They mean well but no-one likes them.
— cmdibley 🐀 (@cmdibley) January 22, 2021
21.
When I was a kid, I mixed up my words in a restaurant once and declared at the top of my voice "this salad is HUMILIATING!" (I meant disgusting, but now it's an inside joke in my family)
— Kate Taylor (@thiskatetaylor) January 21, 2021
22.
23.
My 9yo daughter says that tomatoes taste like "childhood sadness" and that zucchini is just "depressed cucumber". Anything she doesn't like "makes her tastebuds cry."
— Lenni Now in 5G (@lenni51074) January 22, 2021
Also she feels that pineapple on pizza "is just pushing the boundaries of good taste".
24.
A friend was the cook for a preschool and taught the kids to say that whatever they didn't like "wasn't their preference" instead of saying something was gross. It was so funny watching a bunch of tiny people saying "Miss Debbie, this thing you made is NOT my preference".
— L Hale (@foundbeautyvt) January 21, 2021
25.
I too have a picky 4yo...his best one has been "I can't eat this because it will make me cough too much and I might accidentally end the world"
— OWPSLibrary (@OWPSLibrary) January 22, 2021
Share on Facebook
