20 people who declined a marriage proposal reveal why they said 'No'

As a couple, it's important to be on the same page, at least when it comes to a marriage proposal. Some jump the gun, some wait too long, and sometimes the person is not right, or the timing. There are a million reasons to get married and a million to say no. It's never easy to say no, especially if you're being proposed to in front of an audience. Here's this person getting down on one knee and holding out a ring, anticipating a "yes," and all you can think is... "No No No No." One Reddit user wanted to hear from people who were involved in the proposals or witnessed one about what happened and 20 of them shared their experience of living that moment.

1. I really didn't know if he was just really baked

My fiance proposed a few months into dating and I really didn't know if he was just really baked or serious. So I said awkwardly, "I'm not sure if this is real, but it's way too soon for that". Poor dude was actually asking. I knew he was going to propose the second time because in an argument he blurted out, "If I proposed would you even say yes?!" Dude was still shell-shocked 6 years later but luckily I didn't put him through that twice. u/Whome243

2. He proposed at dinner, in front of people

My dad actually was rejected by my mom the first time he asked. They were on a cruise and he proposed at dinner, in front of people, and she said no. She just wasn’t ready, and he was embarrassed lol. This is why I plan ahead and will never propose publicly. u/Adapprehensive4732

3. Swimming against the current

My dad was kind of rejected the first time as well. They were swimming in a public pool, going in different directions. When they met in the middle he asked if they should get married. She was a bit angry and said it's not going to happen this way. He had to do it properly later. u/AnanananasBanananas 

4. They were on an airplane and she was drunk

My parents had been together for 7 years and had discussed marriage, but when she proposed, they were on an airplane and she was drunk. I wouldn't call it a "blaze of awkward glory" because she took it well when he gently told her that it wasn't the right time, but it's still a funny story. The second proposal (not on an airplane, no one was drunk) went well :) u/ChuushaHime

5. Horsing around

I once saw a public proposal at a horse show. It was awful. The woman tried to leave the stage when she saw her boyfriend entering the ring as a special surprise. But they would not let her leave. So painful to watch. She did not answer his question and everyone watching was cringing. u/bookworm1896
 

6. Being shot down in front of 11k people

Witnessed a proposal at a concert. The artists integrated some graphics leading up to him asking and then they stopped the show and put the cameras on them so all 10k attendees were just watching the exchange. There was a long, awkward pause (like 2 minutes) and then they turned the lights and cameras off then restarted the music without any sort of celebration or cheering...because she said no and then walked out of the concert. u/Supposium 

7. He was just depressed

A guy proposed to me a couple of years ago. He was just depressed about the lady he was actually in love with rejecting him. And unless I'm mistaken his thought process was: "Well, this girl liked me a few years ago and has been a halfway decent friend, maybe since I can't have true love and she doesn't seem to have any prospects we can just settle on each other..." I did not agree. u/TeaGnomes

8. Tall story short

One guy proposed to me because he was going to be deployed somewhere far. We were 19. He was a friend from high school who flirted with me a lot, I thought, jokingly. He was home from leave and had had a growth spurt. Which was great for him but he thought the reason I never went out with him was because he was short. So when he came back, he thought I’d go from not wanting to be his girlfriend to wanting to be his wife when I saw him. It was sad, he was lonely in the military but I was nineteen! I tried my hardest not to hurt his feelings but I never heard from him again. u/Greyrobot6 

9. Desperate to get married

She told me that she was so desperate to get married she would marry anyone who asked as long he wasn't the biggest loser on the entire planet. I learned something about myself that day. u/Mordecci00 

10. At a bodybuilding contest

Not myself but I did watch one once and it god awful. Guy just won an amateur bodybuilding contest and his partner came up on stage with him. He immediately drops to one knee and asks for her to marry him. She doesn’t say a word and starts to shake her head no and he starts to weep on stage while still holding the microphone.
Nothing like watching a grown man oiled up in a banana hammock ugly crying in front of an arena full of people. u/godbullseye

11. The long game

My boyfriend proposed after we had our first child. We’d been together 3 or 4 years at that point, lived together, planned to have the kid. I turned him down and told him it was because I thought he was doing it because of the baby. I wanted it to be because of me and not an obligation and I think I was a little hurt that he hadn’t asked before when it was just me in the equation. I told him If he waited one more year and still wanted to and asked again I would say yes. It took him three more kids and like 5-6 more years to ask again (so now we have been together for almost 11 years and have 4 kids), but we are finally getting married in two days :). u/specific-noise123

12. Seventh time is a charm

My dad got told no the first, second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth time. First time he and my mom were sitting in bed eating donuts and watching the people getting married in some rom-com when he says “Hey, we should do that sometime. I got a ring just gotta remember where I put it.” The seventh attempt, he collaborated with my mom's best friend to guide her to a picnic where he actually got down on one knee. u/The-dankest-normie

13. All a haze

I was in the hospital sick as a dog and on meds when my boyfriend pulled out a ring and asked if I liked it. In a haze, I told him not really. It wasn’t until weeks later he admitted he was proposing to me. We didn’t last. u/Parrotlady22
 

14. Put on the spot

Obligatory not me proposing but I was a witness She hates big surprises and being pressured into things. He proposed at a surprise party in front of all their friends (including me) and families. She said "Here and now, no". Then she dragged him out of there by the collar to an empty room, told him EXACTLY how he'd messed up, stating "I've never doubted that I wanted to be with you forever until you pulled that". He apologized. Then got down on one knee and gave her the quiet, private proposal she wanted, to which she said "like this, hell yes". Then they return to the party to celebrate and announce that they were engaged. It was one of the most awkward 15 minutes of my life but I have never respected her more! u/hihglord4

15. Too religious

The guy I had to shoot down was raised very religious, and though he didn't hold those views he seemed to have a blind spot to the difference between being in love, and being ready to marry. He expected, because I loved him, I would want to marry. We were also both pretty young. It's sad because he was logical and empathetic in so many ways, but in that way, he was just a bible page. He was stunned and confused. Sad. u/saladcitypig

16.  Wasn't ready

We were in the mall and right in front of the fountain I got down on one knee and proposed. She said no, we got home and talked about it, she just wasn’t ready and I said that was fine, it doesn’t mean we have to break up. That was almost a year ago and I’m going to re-propose on her birthday. u/Bananamanbandana
 

17. 4 years minimum

I bought the rings, showered my partner with affection and attention and let them do whatever they wanted all weekend. They said no because they wanted us to be together for 4 years before they would say yes. They wanted to live in the moment, while I was ready to settle down. I was devastated and refused to spend any time with them for the rest of the convention. It spoiled my weekend and I ended up drinking my feelings away with some friends. We don't talk anymore. u/canisbaileyilupus

18. Not too gassed about it

I asked my girlfriend of two years if she'd consider moving in and by way of an answer she made that "blowing a raspberry" fart sound for about 5 seconds.
I'll take that as a no then. u/Mr_nonesuch

19. No sappy for me. Thank you.

I told my partner of ten years I'd say no if he proposed with a big gesture or pretty much anyone around. I'm really private and I don't want pressure even though I know I'd say yes. I just want to quietly enjoy the moment and not have other people crying over me or getting sappy. Very few times in life do people get to be selfish with big moments, I'm choosing to be selfish with this one. u/perfectsmoot 

20. Straight out of Scranton 

We got invited to a co-worker’s Diwali celebration (which, contrary to my knowledge at the time, is NOT a costume party). She showed up in a cheerleader’s outfit due to misunderstanding, and it was already awkward from the start, and she was very mad at me. In order to get back into her good books, I decided to pull a huge romantic gesture and propose to her on stage in front of everybody at the party. Needless to say, she pretty much said no. The worst part is she was my ride home, and when my other coworker offered to drive me I tried kissing her and she rejected me too. u/RazzmatazzUnique8821