25 people share the most important lessons they learned in therapy
"Therapy is a confidential and private space where you can get help from a professional with anything that bothers you, from your work problems, relationship issues, or other psychological problems such as post-trauma stress, depression, and anxiety."
Twitter user Drivingmemadi, aka Madimoiselle, recently asked her followers to share at least one thing that they've learned in therapy. "If everyone drops one thing they learned in therapy, we can all gain insight from this thread," she wrote. Her tweet saw an overwhelming response as thousands of netizens shared the many valuable insights they'd gained in therapy and explained how it changed their lives for the better. "Therapy is a confidential and private space where you can get help from a professional with anything that bothers you, from your work problems, relationship issues, or other psychological problems such as post-trauma stress, depression, and anxiety," psychotherapist Silva Neves told Bored Panda.
"Those things are actually very common and many people struggle with these things, it doesn't mean they're crazy. Seeing a therapist when you have emotional struggles should be as normal as seeing your doctor when you have a physical problem. But at the moment, our society hasn't normalized therapy yet. It is changing with famous people talking about the benefits of therapy such as Lady Gaga and Prince Harry," the expert added. "I think it is getting better and there is less stigma seeing a therapist now. It depends on your location though, there are still some parts of the world where therapy is still a taboo. Some people think that seeing a therapist means that you're 'crazy,' but this is not actually what therapy is about."
Here are 25 of the most popular responses to Mademoiselle's tweet:
1.
I had a really bad habit of telling my therapist “I know my issues aren’t a big deal and that I know other people have it worse” and she told me that trauma isn’t a competition, and that all trauma deserves recognition and healing. So to anyone struggling, you’re valid.
— Atri ૐ (@atrib1) July 26, 2021
2.
After my cancer diagnosis, someone was telling me about a serious problem they were having, and said they felt bad for “whining” to me about it. I was like, “just because a broken leg is worse than a sprained ankle, doesn’t mean you should walk on either.”
— Kendra Abel (@KendraAbel2) July 27, 2021
3.
You're not a perfectionist, you're insecure about how your best effort will be received.
— Dhanum K. Nursigadoo (@_dhanum) July 25, 2021
4.
Anger is a secondary emotion. If someone is angry, they were something else first. That's why we say "try to understand where they're coming from." It means literally look for the origin of their anger, and speak to the initial emotion, not the anger itself.
— Buff Baby Kobold (@YeehawScout) July 26, 2021
5.
You date people that feel familiar. Whoever in your family left a big impact (positive or negative) you are likely to marry someone who behaves similarly.
— my tweet button is broken and I dont know how to f (@alliepi314) July 25, 2021
This is particularly important to keep an eye on for those who were abused as children, whether by parents or siblings.
6.
A therapist once told me “your parents didn’t wake up and think of how to fuck you up and hurt you... they did they best they could AND their best was terribly lacking and both of those things can be true” - helped me forgive without excusing
— NachoMamaGetVaxxed (@vschicho1) July 26, 2021
7.
I’ve heard that your first thought is what you were taught to think and your second thought is what you actually think. Helps to separate from bad patterns you learned growing up or from an abuser.
— soft swerve 🍦 (@strippersauce) July 26, 2021
8.
As you get healthier, people around you who are stuck in their own unhealthy patterns may resent you or accuse you of acting superior to them, being selfish, etc. You may feel guilt as your situation improves and theirs doesn’t. But you aren’t responsible for them/their reactions
— Squirrel Herder (@squirrelshorts) July 26, 2021
9.
Decisions do not have to be labeled right or wrong. You made a choice that you believed was best based on the information you had at that time. When/if your future self discovers new info that changes your mind, that doesn’t mean you’ve failed or made a “bad” choice
— haleigh (@haleighavila27) July 26, 2021
10.
you cant control what other people say about you. one of the most frustrating lessons, but you just have to accept some people misunderstand you (on purpose or not) and will sell a version of you that doesnt exist to others. don't let it affect you. that isn't the real you.
— a kacchako festival 🧡💗 (@kacchakofest) July 26, 2021
11.
A therapist once told me, “you marry one parent and become the other” - that has stuck with me for many years. I believe there is some truth in that statement.
— CMR (@CRStarbucks) July 26, 2021
12.
You’re never spending time by yourself, you’re spending time with yourself. You are good enough to spend time with, even if it’s just you.
— Dillon (@dilpickle08) July 26, 2021
13.
There are 2 ways people grow from trauma:
— jujubean (@stfujujubean) July 26, 2021
1. they never want anyone to feel as bad as they did ever again
2. they want everyone to feel as bad as they did because it’s unfair that they went through it and others didn’t
be the first person and be wary of the second
14.
I learned intrusive thoughts are not something you should engage with or fight, you just have to accept that they will come from time to time and even though they make you feel shitty, acknowledge them as not real, and let them pass through your mind like rude houseguests lmfao
— Sliz (@slizagna) July 25, 2021
15.
I used to be so tense all the time that my body just felt like it ached everywhere. My therapist taught me the importance of being mindful of where I’m tense and how to let go. Progressive Muscle Relaxation has done wonders for me. pic.twitter.com/4RUVXagnIV
— Jasmín . . ☾ (@BigMammaJay) July 27, 2021
16.
“not everyone is making a cameo in your movie. They’re the lead in their own and will act according to not only their own wants and needs, but also their history/trauma. You are not central to every story, so not everything that people do or say, or how they react, is about you.”
— Spanky McDutcherson 🔸 (@thatdutchperson) July 26, 2021
17.
!! Don’t keep yourself sad because you feel like you’re not allowed happiness. We deserve it and it’s ok to laugh and have fun. Don’t keep yourself in this box that you’re only allowed pain as punishment. You’re a good person, you’ve made ppl smile and love and that’s beautiful
— 𝙏𝙯 𝙩𝙝𝙚 🍯🐝 (@lowriderslug_) July 25, 2021
18.
Your brain is responsible for keeping you alive, not keeping you happy. You have to be intentional about bringing joy into your life.
— ApRiL (@greasybishh) July 26, 2021
19.
sometimes you don't deserve closure. the people you've hurt don't owe you forgiveness even after you've changed for the better. some bridges are burned forever, and sometimes it's better that way for all parties. you have to move forward and be better for you, not someone else.
— evil sex haver (@osmosismoans) July 26, 2021
20.
great job, know that they mean that. Just because they only saw you succeed and didn’t see how many times you failed before you won, it doesn’t make that success any less worthy of their praise. You kept going despite the failure and that is also worth celebrating.”
— Lex (@clanlextine) July 26, 2021
21.
There are (lots of) people you can only be friends with if you expect nothing out of them and that's okay. No one owes you the type of love and support you give them, and you don't owe anyone the type of love and support they give you, because love shouldn't be tit-for-tat.
— lis (@e_c_oost) July 26, 2021
22.
Being able to identify & label an emotion takes off half of the stress of it. Not knowing how or why you feel the way you do can be very overwhelming. Instead of “Idk why I’m so sad” = “I guess I’m feeling isolated” whatever it may be, provides clarity pic.twitter.com/lNpx6ElKRH
— jess (@jessicaaaeakin) July 26, 2021
23.
ur negative thoughts developed in childhood as a way to protect urself, but a child cannot run an adult's life. when u have a negative thought, thank the child for trying to protect u, and as an adult, promise to protect them instead.
— 𝒄𝒂𝒎𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒂 (@CambriaDenim) July 26, 2021
24.
One I heard in therapy that rocked my world was “Anger is sadness’ bodyguard”
— Stephanie 🌱 (@steph_anie_bee) July 27, 2021
25.
You’re not responsible for your first thought, but how you respond to it. Say your first thought is “ew I look awful”, you can let that build and fester or you can say “no I look great”. changing your thought process takes practice
— Emmy (@happpyyhipppyy) July 25, 2021
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