20 people who moved from cities to small towns reveal their most surprising culture shock

Relocating to a new place can be a challenge for anyone, especially when it involves transitioning from a bustling city to a quiet small town. Beyond finding the right house, it’s about adapting to a different social environment. Building new relationships in small towns can be tricky; some newcomers face skepticism, while others are welcomed with open arms. For some, the transition is a culture shock; for others, it’s the tranquility they’ve been longing for—a realization that the change is exactly what they needed.

u/MrSocPsych tossed a question to the Reddit community, asking users to share their experiences of moving from a big city to a small town, specifically about the culture shocks they encountered. The post received thousands of responses, with people detailing the highs and lows of adjusting to life in a rural town. Many were surprised by the stark differences between the people and lifestyle of small towns compared to bustling cities. The insights shared were both eye-opening and revealing of the unique challenges and rewards that come with such a move.

1. People react to newcomers

"Of course, it matters where you’ve moved but when you enter a restaurant or bar everyone turns to see who’s come in. At first, it was off-putting then you realize they’re just looking to see if it’s someone they know." -u/The_Dark_Frog00

2. The environment once the sun sets

"After 5 pm it’s effectively a ghost town. Nothing is open but one 24-hour gas station." -u/liloldguy

3. Dating scene in small towns 

"The dating pool is ankle-deep. Someone has to break up, and we all move over one." -u/dogchowtoastedcheese

4. Opening and closing hours of stores

"When we moved to our tiny town in northern PA, the biggest shock was that absolutely nothing was open past 7 pm or on the weekends. The library's only open until 4 pm during the week and not at all on the weekend." -u/5ygnal

5. Important locations are at great distance

"I lived in Vermont for a time and small-town life required a lot more planning. The grocery store was a 45-minute drive, so if you went once a week and forgot something you did without it. Four-wheel drive was a must. The people were more friendly and tolerant than I expected. Like the big city, no one really gave a damn about what other people did. People in the suburbs seem a lot more conformist than people in the city or in rural areas." -u/BackInNJAgain

6. Knowing neighbor's pets

"I moved to a small town and now I know my neighbor’s cat better than my own family. Life is quieter but the gossip is way more entertaining." -u/Ok-Increase-7646

7. Everybody knows everybody

"People say hi to you on the sidewalk. The first time it happened I looked around behind me thinking it was someone else but there was only me. So I said, 'I’m sorry do I know you? and he was like 'No? I was just being friendly' and I felt so bad. Because the city I grew up in you did not make eye contact with strangers, let alone say anything to them." -u/feryoooday

8. Young people having children and marrying

"Yup, I have family that live in a small town about an hour outside Fresno CA, and it’s very normal there. Everyone there met their spouse in high school and have stayed together since. Most of my cousins were married by 18, and had children before they were 21."-u/Deadbeat699

9. Too quiet and no chaos

"And I’m just the opposite! I grew up on the edge of a big city and actually miss the chaos. Mostly, though, I miss the urgency with which people drive. The people living here did not receive the same driving education I did. Just how much room is needed between cars to make a turn, sitting in the middle of the intersection when trying to make a left turn so that you can finally turn when the light turns red, and when it’s actually good to honk?" -u/itwillhavegeese

10. Spreading rumors quickly

"Small caveat, everyone thinks they know all of your business, which may be worse. Sometimes they actually do know your business, it's a small area, word travels, but often they think they know and what they know is either a rumor, something true but maybe out of context and has gone through the game of telephone like a dozen times, etc. My family is fairly infamous in my hometown (legal issues, drug abuse, even the more traditionally normal folks are characters) and the s**t I've heard from folks that they totally believe is wild." -u/SadFeed63

11. Strange relationship equations

"I was newly divorced and moved from a city to a tiny town near a Native reservation, to do it for the tribe. I figured that there would be a pool of single, early-middle-aged people like myself to date. You know, out of their first marriage but not in their second marriage yet. Wrong! Everyone was married but didn't necessarily live with their spouse." -u/Gaazhagensikwe

12. Pretending to know everything

"I actually grew up rural, then lived in the city for a while, then went back to rural. The thing that really struck me was how lots of townies think they have a lot of life experience when they don't. I suppose it's easy to think you've seen everything when you've never been anywhere else to compare. I say this came as a shock because I never really noticed it before I spent some productive years in the city." -u/reddittheguy

13. Unusual lingo in small towns

"I've lived in California my entire life and have never heard the term 'lopper' either. And the politeness just depends on where you live. Can't really compare the Bay Area to Tahoe or Garberville." -u/JustGenericName

14. People have old bonds

"We live in the town of Sonoma in California after living in Boston and San Francisco. What's interesting is that in a small town, we've noticed that everybody went to grade school in the high school together. The roots run deep. They're super nice to us, it's almost like a farm community but we're always going to be outsiders. Another thing I noticed is that when we throw parties my wife and I are somewhat uninhibited and we will sing karaoke or something. They haven't been socialized the same way we have with receptions, sales calls, and business trips, etc. At parties, you can see them kind of close off when they're confronted with socializing with people they don't know. They just don't have that gear." -u/mmaine9339

15. Conservative and judgemental people

"I didn't grow up in a big city but I lived 2 hours from NYC, Boston, and Providence, so there was a lot of big city influence in my area. I moved from New England to a very VERY rural and conservative county located in Western KY. This was September 2019 and things got weird after that. What shocked me was how uptight folks were, including the family I was staying with while I got myself situated. The southern hospitality was refreshing but I had a hard time trusting people once the Southern Belle mask came off. I felt I had to be careful about sharing my progressive views, I couldn't be my true self because eyes full of judgment would lock onto me."-u/Honey_Thund

16. Differences between small towns

"Oh, the difference between New England small towns and the rest of the country is so real. Just visited Southern New Hampshire for the holidays and yeah everybody voted for Trump but there are trans and gay people everywhere and no one cared I was dressed feminine as a guy. I was in a town on the West Coast and I was a pariah just for having my nails painted black, I didn't even try dressing feminine if I was more than an hour out from the biggest most progressive city." -u/SaintJamesy

17. Openly making controversial remarks

"People seem super nice and if you never get too deep you might never know better. They don’t openly talk about their violently racist and xenophobic opinions - formed in an almost complete vacuum devoid of facts because their schools are terrible and their teachers from the area and they don’t know what they don’t know - and it’s not because they know they should be ashamed. It’s because they take it for granted that you share their revolting ideas because everyone they know shares their ideas. They don’t talk about it because they assume they don’t need to. And the instant you express something new, they react like you’re a threat. Which you are, to their way of thinking." -u/OneCraftyBird

18. Safety and security

"I grew up rural. You only locked your front door if you were going on vacation for like a week or so. Most people just left their keys in their cars. It was never a problem. (Note: This was before meth got big and ways may have changed there now.)" -u/CeanothusOR

19. Traveling woes are real

"My parents moved to a town population 1200 that was mostly clay roads. I figured I'd use my mountain bike to get around but even with 1.5-inch wide tires, it would sink in like beach sand. Then if you wanted to walk on foot you had to carry a stick because people had outside dogs without fences. Those roads were so poor that school buses would drive 20 mph on them. The first stop was at 5:45 am and drop off was around 7:30 am. Fortunately, I was at the last bus stop and got picked up at 7:15 but I felt sorry for the kids riding that thing 3 hours round trip every day. My elementary bus driver was mean and wouldn't allow kids to even whisper during the trip." -u/dontaskdonttells

20. Poverty-stricken generations

"The grim realities of generational poverty coupled with high control religion." -u/erstwhilehobbit