'I apparently unlock my phone, open the notes app and write without ever waking up.'
Somniloquy has been defined as the harmless, unconscious habit of talking in one's sleep. Roughly 5% of adults continue to engage in the habit on a regular basis even after childhood, according to Sleep Foundation. Sleep talking is one of those incredibly unusual things that you can perform without having any memory of it when your mind is deeply immersed in dreams and your motor functions are slowly returning to reality. The behavior is quite common but sometimes the context can be hilarious or terrifying. That was undoubtedly the case with these Twitter users who revealed the funniest, oddest things they had ever said (or overheard others say) when they were asleep. It all started when Twitter user @Joanna__Hardy posted a fun tidbit about her husband, who at 2 a.m. one night, sat up and shouted, asking if there will be a buffet.
Good morning to everyone except my partner who, at 2am, mid-dream, sat bolt upright in bed and terrifyingly shouted into the dark: “Will there be a buffet?”— Joanna Hardy-Susskind (@Joanna__Hardy) January 5, 2021
The tweet sparked a fun exchange with many Twitter users sharing experiences of their own, contributing to the hilarious thread. Here are 20 such responses:
I have been (in my eyes wrongfully) accused of being the nighttime random herald. I have (allegedly) woken my husband over the years whilst playing an imaginary trombone complete with sounds and with what I imagine was a superb Sly Stallone impersonation— roseabouttown (@roseabouttown) January 5, 2021
Oh I have many of these stories. One night my partner half got up and then swung a leg right out the bed, kicking the radiator which woke him up. I asked him what he was doing. Scoring a goal was his answer.— Madeofpixels 💙 (@Madeofpixels1) January 5, 2021
He doesn't even play football.
Reading in bed one evening. My husband, snoring next to me, had been asleep for a bit. He suddenly sat up, leaned over, squeezed my boob (gently!), grinned, said "You can't do THAT at the hairdressers" and then lay back down and continued snoring. No recollection the next day.— _M_ (@strawberrymojo) January 5, 2021
I once woke up to find my ex standing up on the bed, facing the bedroom wall in a diving pose and about to jump through it into the living room. Thankfully I woke him up before he gave himself concussion.— Sarah 'Morgenmuffel' Clark (@positivesarah) January 5, 2021
Once I woke up because I felt as if my foot was doing circles in the air. I dismissed it as a dream and tried to go back to sleep only for it to happen again.— Huw Pritchard (@HP_Chap) January 5, 2021
My wife was at the bottom of the bed with my foot in her hand. I looked at her, and she asked "Is this an arm?"
I leave strange notes on my phone in my sleep. I apparently unlock my phone, open the notes app and write without ever waking up. 🤷🏻♀️ pic.twitter.com/G4ScBffOi3— Joanne Mildenhall (@doneoveroff) January 5, 2021
My 3 year old started shouting in her sleep, " But I don't want to be a chicken"— HateHypocrisy (@BritishPolitico) January 5, 2021
I went through a phase of active dreaming some years back. Wife was awoken by me out of bed shouting 1. "Don't move there's glass everywhere." 2. "I can't find the snakes." 3. "Where have the hedgehogs gone?." Latter two times I'd whipped the duvet off with a theatrical flourish!— Ian (@MoggsyG) January 5, 2021
Marvellous!— Alison Donnelly (@1alisondonnelly) January 5, 2021
I was once told my husband that he'd ironed the potatoes and, on a particularly memorable night, that Thomas the Tank Engine was IN OUR BEDROOM!
I woke my boyfriend up many years ago whilst having a bad dream... I was sitting up in bed ‘fighting’ monsters who were in a swimming pool. I was kicking rotten apples at them and shouting at them in Portuguese (the only Portuguese I know is ‘hello’ and ‘thank you’). 🤷🏼♀️— Gemma Thompson (@GirlsThatTravel) January 9, 2021
Aged 14, I was asleep on a plane, flying as unaccompanied minor. Jerked awake, said to person next to me “I’ve lost my hymn book”. Turned round, asked person behind me if they’d seen it. Then realised I’d been DREAMING I was balancing it on my head and it fell off. Mortified!!— Roz Kay 🐎🌳📚💙 (@_RozKay) January 5, 2021
Ha! Last night my wife proclaimed, "I've a really good idea...", giggled a little, mumbled something, giggled some more and then resumed snoring. I proceeded to lie awake for ages wondering what the idea was...— Doug likes 🇺🇦 C4 🏉🍕🍷🥧🍻🍳☕🍰🥤 (@DougieTeasReady) January 5, 2021
Dont get me started he has saved me from aliens by pushing me out of bed and throwing the duvet over me, chased vampires and lions and when he was a stationery rep did me a good deal on red and green pens at 2 in the morning.— julie rees (@reesjv) January 5, 2021
My wife one woke up, abruptly, and said “where’s the water dripping from?” Then went back to sleep. I shot out of bed and spent 30 mins looking for a possible leaking pipe in the bedroom and couldn’t get back to sleep 🤷♂️— Jon Burney (@version7) January 5, 2021
Yep - my sister had a version of that - "Ssh, burglars!" But worse for her friend whose husband, dreaming of fishing off the pier, peed over the end of the bed...— Sarah Chapman (@SarahChapman30) January 5, 2021
Every relationship has the sane sleeper and someone like me. Two weeks ago I sat up screaming about the evil giraffe (IT’S A FUCKING ROBOT!) at the foot of our bed.— JohnKennyR 🇺🇸🏳️🌈🇵🇹 (@JohnKennyR) January 5, 2021
🤣— Trev teatro (@trevorteatro) January 5, 2021
In the past I've been shaken awake to be told this gem:
'I'll go where my spoon goes'..
Thanks for reminding me 👍☺️
Rather like the time I sat bolt upright from a dream in the night and shouted “he’s got a gun”. Before calmly lying back down and going back to sleep whilst my partner was left in stunned awakened terror. On that basis, I think a buffet enquiry is preferable.— David (@Woolytweets) January 5, 2021
My husband once did similar, except he shouted ‘Mind the salamander’!— Moughlies (@soozem) January 5, 2021
Last night my other half rolled over and whispered "probably not going to need all these parachutes".— Jake Archibald (@jaffathecake) January 5, 2021