The 'birds and the bees' conversation often results in hilarious anecdotes that could make even the most stonehearted Grinch crack a smile.
Editor's note: This article was originally published on April 6, 2021. It has since been updated.
The "birds and the bees" conversation is a rite of passage for every parent. Although most prefer to put it off for as long as possible — given the awkward nature of the topic — this isn't always possible as kids seem to come with a built-in list of questions about everything under the sun. On the bright side, such scenarios often result in hilarious anecdotes that could make even the most stonehearted Grinch crack a smile. A bunch of these rib-tickling conversations was shared on Twitter when one netizen kick-started a discussion about funny stories involving the first sex talk with kids.
It all began when Twitter user @meganmuircoyle tweeted about her kids' reaction to the topic. "Reaction from my kids after explaining how sex works: 'You've done this THREE TIMES?'" Megan tweeted. The hilarious exchange soon had more parents sharing funny memories of their kids finding out about the birds and the bees, resulting in one of the best Twitter threads.
Here are 15 of our favorite stories:
When my friend explained it to her son, he walked up to his dad and asked “dad, what did it feel like when you put the special seed with me in it into mommy?” He went red, mumbled “it was grand” and quickly left the room 😂— Annie Took 🚀✨ (@AnnieTook) February 3, 2021
Old joke:— Slim Smith (@SlimSmith5) February 3, 2021
Mom tells 5-year-old that if he keeps biting his nails, the clippings will ball up in his belly.
Next day the the grocery store, the 5-year-old sees a woman who's 8-months pregnant.
He looks at her solemnly for a moment, then blurts out:
"I know what you've been doing!"
My nephew was about 7 when he got this info. At the next big holiday dinner he spontaneously stood up on his chair, flexed his biceps and loudly announced, “I am strong and healthy and full of sperm!”— Joanney 😏 (@ms_ginadano) February 3, 2021
True story.— Lisa Boban 😷 (@lisaboban) February 3, 2021
My daughter was about 6 when she asked me, "Mom, what this about a period?"
I supplied an age appropriate response.
She thought a minute.
Then she looked at her two bothers, then back at me, and asked, "And what do they get?"
My high school history teacher told us that his kids had the same reaction but when my teacher informed them that he has “done it” many times, his kid started crying and asked him “where are the others”.... he thought he had many long lost siblings— Brooke (@BH_Kohn) February 3, 2021
After explaining child birth to my 10years, he said "Thank God, I don't ever have to do that", turned to the sister "I am sorry you have to do that, but you can choose not to, I don't think I will want my wife to do that"— Madame President (@zumamalicious) February 3, 2021
My kids are adopted, and I once heard, "Well, at least you guys didn't have to do THAT!"— Wendy Gassaway (@WendyGassaway) February 3, 2021
My daughter was 5. The topic came up because we live on a farm. She came out to the barn when the vet was helping me breed a mare.— Christine❤️🐎 (@spottedTB) February 3, 2021
Her: so where do people babies come from?
(Vet is smirking)
Me: pretty much the same way.
Her: “Eew”. Wanders off.
Vet: 😁. Farm kids learn young.
(11) Son: there’s blood in the toilet. Me: yeah that was me. I had my period. Son: when? Me: this past week. Son: why didn’t you tell me. Me: I didn’t know I was supposed to tell you. Son: well I tell you everything, you need to tell me these things. Me 🤔 ok?— Laurie Hutcheson (@HutchesonLaurie) February 3, 2021
I told kids I babysat what it was (they already kinda knew). The youngest first asked “but... is that the ONLY way to make a baby?” (She wasnt into it 😅). Then she thought & said “wait... does that mean Mommy & Daddy...” “Dont think about it” her older sister responded🤣— S.L. Matzoshook 🫓 (@Stpolishook) February 3, 2021
At a wedding rehearsal dinner, one of the little girls announced, "My mommy has a baby in her uterus!"— Dr. Lee in Iowa #TeamPelosi (@Lee_in_Iowa) February 3, 2021
(We hadn't known she was pregnant -- and that's how we found out.)
My sister's niece by marriage was about 4 when she asked in on her mom changing her pad so her mom explained it for her. She didn't react then but a couple hours later ran in crying hysterically. "I ain't never had a period! Mama I'm pregnant!" 🤣🤣🤣— Loretta Sue Ross ⚖ (@lorettasueross) February 3, 2021
Sometime after our youngest learned the details, we let slip that she was a surprise. "A surprise!? But you did 'the process'!" (Complete with air quotes) "Sweetie, you don't get pregnant every time you do the, uh, 'process'." "You don't? Then why in the world would you it!?"— J-T Richards (@JT_Richards) February 3, 2021
My kiddo: why would you do that if you didn’t want to get pregnant?— Jessica (@JessicaReens) February 3, 2021
Me: well, some people think it’s fun
Kid: fun?!! Fun?! I can see how having a baby might be fun, but that?!?!
My oldest (9) asked about it the other day, then later that night we were watching Look Whose Talking and the beginning impregnation scene came on and I said THAT EXPLAINS IT(more or less) and our 7yo yells out I WAS AN EGG! And the 4yo says But I like to eat eggs. Good times lol— ɮʊȶȶɛʀʄʟʏ քʀɨռƈɛֆֆ🦋👸🏾 (@CButterfly14) February 4, 2021