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20 hilarious 911 conversations that show the most wholesome side of the helpline

Amid the plethora of distressing calls that 911 operators receive every day, there have been a few rib-tickling calls as well.

20 hilarious 911 conversations that show the most wholesome side of the helpline
Representative Cover Image Source: Pexels | Mile Ribeiro, Reddit | u/que_he_hecho

911 operators are among the many unsung heroes who are silently saving lives every day. Beyond their quick-witted decision-making to swiftly dispatch services, 911 operators also exhibit immense patience when addressing callers in distress. While their job ranks among the most nerve-wracking, 911 operators occasionally find moments of unexpected fun during their shifts. This lighter side often comes courtesy of amusing calls featuring some of the silliest concerns imaginable.

Representative Image Source: Pexels | Mikhail Nilov
Representative Image Source: Pexels | Mikhail Nilov

Some people misuse the advantage of having emergency services just a dial away. They call 911 for a reason that's the opposite of serious. So, when u/KrystalGamer246 asked 911 operators on Reddit, "What is the funniest 911 call you've ever had?" hundreds of hilarious stories swarmed into the comments. Many were from other emergency services providers like animal control dispatch and first-hand witnesses of funny 911 calls. Here are 20 "emergency" incidents that are sure to crack you up.

1. Checking on owls and ducks

My kid worked for animal control. We were eating dinner and 911 dispatch called him. Some panicked lady had called 911 about an owl in a tree that couldn’t fly. It had been sitting in the tree for a half hour not moving. Of course, it was just before dusk and the owl was just waiting for dark so it could go hunt for dinner. Then there was the call about the one-legged duck at the park. -u/Canoe52

2. No ketchup, call 911

At a long term care facility I worked at, one of our residents called 911 with the phone in her room because she didn't get ketchup with her lunch. Not kidding. The sherrifs office called back to let the nurses know what she'd done while I was standing right there. I've never laughed so hard at work. -u/damnit_jen

3. Shark haters

Woman called to report seeing a shark in the ocean.
'Yes, ma'am. That is where we keep them.' -u/que_he_hecho
Representative Image Source: Pexels | George Desipris
Representative Image Source: Pexels | George Desipris

4. Deer attack

Guy had stopped to pick up what he thought was a dead road kill deer and put it in his station wagon. Deer woke up and goes berserk, kicking and biting him. Guy stops the car at a phone booth, calls 911 demanding a 'bambalance' and while he's trying to do this, some stray mutt starts trying to bite him, he thinks cause he smells like a deer. So you get all the sound effects of barking dog, man hollering at it, then explaining the zany mishap that got him in this situation. -u/buggytoujour

5.  Little troublemakers

A young kid called and asked to talk to the fire trucks. It was pretty late at night so I told him the firetrucks were already sleeping and asked him to put a parent on the phone.
Another time, the caller said 'Is this the krust krab?' Reflex kicked in and I replied 'No, this is Patrick,' before I even realized what had happened. -u/I_only_eat_triangles
Image Source: Pexels | Andrea Piacquadio
Image Source: Pexels | Andrea Piacquadio

6. Hello! I am not alive

I had a woman who wanted to report herself dead. Like not in she wanted to commit suicide but she was sure that she died. A somewhat normal middle aged woman and she called 112 so we would get her a morgue. It was my strangest call ever to tell a person, who was very much alive talking to me, that in fact she was not dead. We sent an ambualnce . In the end it turned out to be psychosis. -u/M3nsch3n.

7. Crazy buttons

This is just a story from my dad. He was pressing random buttons in his car a few months ago, trying to figure out some stuff. He ended up pressing a 911 button, and when they answered my dad was insanely confused. Once they had a few laughs, the operator told him to hang up. Thing is though, he doesn't know how to. -u/snobro110.

8. Digestive emergency

My older cousin Steve lived with his parents at age 45. He’s always been a strange one. Apparently he was constipated and instead of behaving like a normal adult and taking some exlax or stool softener, he decided it was indeed an emergency and called 911.  -u/Dethscare

9. Rock for a pen

Had a homeless guy call the non-emergency line once because his friend had gotten arrested and he needed the number to the jail so he could call him. I told him I could provide him the number to the jail and asked him if he had a pen ready. I heard some stuff getting looked through and eventually after about 45 seconds he goes, 'I couldn't find a pen, but I found a rock.' I was taken aback at this statement and asked him if he still wanted the number. So as I was giving him the number to the jail he was scratching out the number to the jail somewhere in the city. -u/TheGDubsMan

10. One who couldn't unlock the car

The funniest was a lady who said she was locked inside her car and was freaking out because her daughter was about to get off the bus and she didn’t want a bus full of high school kids laughing at her. I told her to unlock the doors and pull the handle and that did the trick. -u/Mav034
Image Source: Pexels | Peter Fazekas
Image Source: Pexels | Peter Fazekas

11. Missing wife

I had a conversation with a man that reported his wife missing. Very plausible story. Man seemed to be really concerned. After a couple of minutes I found out his wife died 7 years back and he was suffering from dementia. So I decided to bring him the 'bad news' while on the phone. I said 'I'm afraid I have some bad news for you, sir. Your wife has been dead for seven years now.'
I was anxiously waiting for his response. He replied in a very happy voice, 'Right! I completely forgot! Well, I'm glad I can stop looking now. Thanks, bye!' -u/McSuckalear

12. Sandwich troubles

My pal has had several calls over the years about sandwiches being dropped either because someone knocked it, they were holding too many things, they didn't like the taste, they couldn't open the packet like an adult, or they just dropped it with no rhyme or reason. Some have wanted people arrested for it. Some have wanted firms prosecuted for not selling or making them a new one. Some have wanted the sandwich arrested or sent to hospital to be saved. -u/darybrain

13. Glitter thefts

I had a little boy call crying after school. I'll never forget his exact quote.
"Mrs. Parsons stole my glitter water." -u/bawnknee

14. Complaint on the Sun

The caller complaint was the sun was too bright. I had to explain to him there was nothing I can do about sunshine. -u/Hunk_n_Butt
Representative Image Source: Pexels | Lukas
Representative Image Source: Pexels | Lukas

 

15. Angry foodie

My mom is a disapatcher. She's gotten a call from a woman who was angry because a fast food place got her order wrong. -u/wekn0w

16. Witty old lady

My best friend once told me that an old woman would call 911 several times a week complaining of chest pains. Then when the EMT’s show up she would say she was fine and ask them to turn her bedroom light off. She really only called them because she didn’t want to get up to turn off the light. She did this multiple times a week. -u/meow1983

17. Thief turns into Karen

I got a call on the radio one night and the 911 dispatch was laughing so hard she could barely breath. When she caught her breath she finally told me that a lady called 911 and she had stolen a pair of shoes from a store and they were the wrong size and she called 911 because they wouldn't let her exchange them for the correct size. -u/Mission_Thanks_7254

18.  Baseball information

Had a guy call to find out what channel the baseball game was on. Said he called 911 because he couldn't find the non-emergency number for the Sheriff's Department. -u/chriscrutch
Representative Image Source: Pexels | Jeshoots.com
Representative Image Source: Pexels | Jeshoots.com

 

19. Witchcraft accusation

One caller said her neighbor was using witchcraft every night to knock her out and steal her vodka. She said it had to be true because the bottles were always lower or empty when she woke up the next morning. As you can imagine, she was one of our frequent flyers. -u/ArtAndBills

20. Avatar threats

Heard a call one night that a neighbor was projecting avatars on his wall and he was in fear for his life, afraid the avatars were plotting to murder him. Officer told dispatch to ask the caller if the avatars had any weapons. -u/floydguitarist

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