20 dark jokes to keep us sane in these insane times

Have you ever spontaneously laughed at a joke before realizing it was maybe a little too dark? Well, it's our favorite genre, especially in these times. Is it even a dark joke if you don't feel a little guilty for laughing a little too hard. The pandemic has been hard on all of us, and we could all do with a little cheering up. Here are 20 jokes that we came across on Reddit that is sure to crack you up:  

1. My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!” They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals. -Reddit

2. Apparently someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor b*stard. - Reddit

3. I have a joke about trickle-down economics. But 99% of you will never get it. -Reddit.

4. Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. His hunting buddy immediately calls 911.
“My friend isn’t breathing,” he shouts into the phone. “What should I do?”
“Relax,” the operator tells him. “I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s silence, and then a gunshot. The guy gets back on the phone and says, “OK, now what?” -Reddit

5. As I get older and I remember all the people I've lost along the way. I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me. -Reddit

6. I wasn't close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine. -Reddit

7. When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car. - Reddit

8. My wife of 60 years told me, "Let's go upstairs and make love." I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both." -Reddit

9. My son, who’s into astronomy, asked me how stars die. “Usually an overdose, son,” I told him.

10. I found out that my Toaster wasn't waterproof... I was in complete shock.

11. Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day. Push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet and he'll fly for the rest of his life. -Reddit 
 

12. Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife.” - Reddit

13. I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin. The jokes weren’t that good, but I liked the execution - Reddit

 14. I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning. Being a sniper is awesome. - Reddit

15. Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible. - Twitter

  16. My Therapist told me, "Time heals all wounds"... So, I stabbed him. Now we wait. - Reddit
 

 17. I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45. It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery. -Reddit

 18. The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me. -Reddit

19. My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf. - Reddit

20. I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden. - Reddit