×
20 dark jokes to keep us sane in these insane times

20 dark jokes to keep us sane in these insane times

Comedy is all about pushing boundaries and here are some jokes that certainly did that and cheered us up.

Have you ever spontaneously laughed at a joke before realizing it was maybe a little too dark? Well, it's our favorite genre, especially in these times. Is it even a dark joke if you don't feel a little guilty for laughing a little too hard. The pandemic has been hard on all of us, and we could all do with a little cheering up. Here are 20 jokes that we came across on Reddit that is sure to crack you up:  

1. My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!” They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals. -Reddit


2. Apparently someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor b*stard. - Reddit


3. I have a joke about trickle-down economics. But 99% of you will never get it. -Reddit.



4. Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. His hunting buddy immediately calls 911.
“My friend isn’t breathing,” he shouts into the phone. “What should I do?”
“Relax,” the operator tells him. “I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s silence, and then a gunshot. The guy gets back on the phone and says, “OK, now what?” -Reddit


5. As I get older and I remember all the people I've lost along the way. I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me. -Reddit

 

6. I wasn't close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine. -Reddit


7. When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car. - Reddit


8. My wife of 60 years told me, "Let's go upstairs and make love." I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both." -Reddit

 

9. My son, who’s into astronomy, asked me how stars die. “Usually an overdose, son,” I told him.

10. I found out that my Toaster wasn't waterproof... I was in complete shock.

11. Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day. Push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet and he'll fly for the rest of his life. -Reddit 
 


12. Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife.” - Reddit

 

13. I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin. The jokes weren’t that good, but I liked the execution - Reddit


 14. I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning. Being a sniper is awesome. - Reddit

15. Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible. - Twitter


  16. My Therapist told me, "Time heals all wounds"... So, I stabbed him. Now we wait. - Reddit
 


 17. I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45. It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery. -Reddit


 18. The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me. -Reddit

19. My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf. - Reddit

20. I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden. - Reddit

Recommended for you