18-yr-old asked by mom's new family to be an 'older brother' to other kids. His reaction left them floored

Not everyone can prioritize their relationships, leading to challenges in maintaining a healthy family dynamic. An 18-year-old, u/CreateGameTwinsx, recently faced a similar situation after choosing to prioritize his biological mom over her new family. Following the early demise of his dad, the now-college student started living with his paternal grandparents. When he was moving out of his childhood home, his mom began seeing a man named Brad, who already had kids. Years later, his stepfamily expressed their desire for him to take on the role of "big brother" to his half-siblings. In the post, the son shared how becoming more involved with his mom had not sat well with those around her, including Brad and his mother.

Before reaching the tipping point, the son revealed how he often saw his mom, who lived 25 minutes from his paternal grandparents’ home. “During the week, I'm in school, and on the weekends, I work. I make sure to take a couple of hours to meet Mom for a late lunch or a coffee or something,” he recalled, emphasizing how he and his mother had endured his dad’s tragic passing when he was seven. As time passed, the son became familiar with Brad and his kids. Suggesting Brad's family as “fine,” the son wrote, “They moved in about three months ago, and now my mom and Brad are engaged. Brad's parents moved to live close to their son and grandkids.”

The son said that he didn’t feel any bond with either Brad or his kids, yet he was asked to babysit them a few times. “I always said no because I had other plans. My mom seemed okay with that, though she has mentioned a few times that she'd love for me to spend more time with them,” he wrote, further hinting at his occasional meetings with his half-siblings. However, he discovered something unusual at his mom’s birthday party when Brad’s family had a message for him. When his mom left with Brad momentarily to pick up a gift, the latter’s mother approached him. The elderly woman said her grandkids had been wanting to spend time with their stepbrother; however, his focus was only on his mom.

"This was the second time I had met this woman. She told me Brad had hoped he’d get to spend some time with me as well. She said it looked like I was only interested in maintaining a relationship with Mom and not in building my family,” the son remembered, further questioning Brad’s mom for her unsolicited advice. “This woman told me I should be doing more, though—that if I love my mom, I will love her family and accept them into my family.” The son chose to remain calm throughout the evening, even in front of his mom and Brad. Days later, after the mother and son had lunch together, the son received a text message from Brad’s mom, "scolding" him for not inviting them. “She said it could be as easy as going to mom’s house, being a part of the family, and being the big brother to the kids,” he acknowledged. The 18-year-old was left with no choice but to speak to his biological mom about what was happening behind her back. 

As they were discussing it, Brad came in and assured him that he would take up the matter with his parents. Additionally, Brad equally wished to be a father figure to him and expected much more. “He said not to babysit but even to hang out with his kids, so they can say they have an older brother.” When his mom finally asked how he felt about being a “big brother,” the son said, “I told her I'd see how things go with Brad and his kids, but I wasn’t planning to sign up for being an older brother. I told her they’d probably feel more like cousins to me.”

The mother didn’t expect this response from her son and was clearly upset, prompting him to take it all online for more clarity. Moreover, the son blocked the grandmother after she tried to scold him again. Among the reactions, u/ChickenLatte9 asked, “It's odd that Brad and his mom are so obsessed with this idea. Makes you wonder what they are leaving out?” “I would've blocked her after the first message and told my mother not to give my number out to random people,” u/chaingun_samurai echoed the larger sentiment.