Society sets unattainable and unrealistic standards for men to be deemed 'attractive' by everyone, putting unwarranted pressure on them.
Society often sets unrealistic expectations and standards for everyone regardless of their gender. Most individuals, including men, find it quite exhausting to live up to these obscenely high standards. So, when u/springheeledjack69 asked men on Reddit about the unrealistic standards of being "attractive" that society has placed upon them, they had a lot to share. Here are 10 of the most interesting answers that individuals on the site had to offer that are sure to get one thinking.
I don't want to work 60+ hours a week just to bring home some extra cash to have on hand. I'd rather slowly build it up and save, while still having some of my health and sanity to cling to in my later years. u/RedditAdminAreM**ons. This is the big one for me. Many women find high ambition and successful careers attractive. I make decent money, and if I wanted to I could make enough to get in that top 5-10%, but I know what that would require and I don't really care about "stuff." u/Hannibal_Barca_
Always initiating or just being dominant, not just in s** but everything outside of it also. I’d just like to be taken care of, even if only once in a blue moon. u/manwithoutajetpack. Amen. The more I've moved up in my job the more relevant this has become. I have to make decisions about a department of 160 or so people every single damn day, and some of these decisions if I screw up could literally cost my company millions of dollars. The last thing I want to do when I get home is continue to make all the decisions. Just tell me what the hell to do every now and then and I'll be happy. u/WakeoftheStorm
Being a good dancer. I know women love it, but the music just doesn't move me like that. u/IHaveP***edBefore. I'm the same way. I'm just not into dancing for the most part. One night at a bar I started talking to a pretty woman though and she wanted to dance, so we danced. It wasn't all that bad and I easily just followed what the steps were and she was pretty pleased. Guess it depends on the dance and how difficult it is though. u/Drougen
The kind of confidence that I consider arrogant. In my life I’m a pretty confident dude, I know what I’m doing in general and I can usually navigate unfamiliar situations pretty well. According to a friend of mine, I don’t project confidence. That’s okay, I see myself as more of a hidden gem anyway. u/aknightwhosaysnope. For sure, the guys who have the need to be some kind of top dog in each and every social interaction don't do it because they're actually confident. They do it because they need to convince themselves constantly. Black hole egos. u/dyllandor
Being the provider. I've been receiving the same spiel since I was like five and it's never been appealing. I have no problem with a woman who wants to be a full-time housewife, but I have no interest whatsoever in being with that woman. I'm too self-sufficient and detail-oriented to sign up for that and remain happy in that relationship. u/festival-papi. Exactly this. I want a partner who is doing their half and whatever else they can to better our situation. When I'm in a relationship I have like a "Team Us" mindset her and I vs. the world let's get everything and as much as we can and work together to reach and fortify our position. u/Ole_Sole74
Wearing a suit. I feel like it might as well just be a sandwich board with “I can afford to throw away half a grand on clothes I only wear once a month” written on it. And the board would probably be more comfortable. u/Poorly-Drawn-Beagle. I mean I agree I don't think suits are worth the cost or effort at all. But men's formal wear is like, insanely comfortable actually. I had to dress that way for my last job, and it's crazy, especially compared to women's formal wear. I was essentially wearing all silk and very soft socks and such, definitely, not particularly uncomfortable. But hey, I work from home now and basically wear Hawaiian shirts every day, so what do I know huh? u/Snuvvy_D
Being tall. I’m a relatively fit man, but on a good day I’m like 5’ 4”. It used to bother me up until I turned 19. Figured I wasn’t getting any taller and decided to not let it bug me because it’s something I cannot control. u/Chef-Andy-B. Any woman who refuses to date a man based on height needs to seriously examine her issues. I just don't understand how folks can make such a big deal of it. Height is not an indicator of how well a man will treat us, his emotional maturity, his capacity for love and compassion. All it indicates is if he can reach stuff on the top shelf. I can buy a step ladder. Being capable of reaching the top shelf is not an indicator of whether he'll be willing to reach it for me. I'm so sick of hearing about how all these women make men feel bad about being short. There are actual bad qualities a man can have. Pick any of those! Why they gotta focus on something that is not even a red flag? u/Numerous-Honeydew780
Any form of expectation. I have met so many (middle-class) women who have their own fantastic, but expensive lifestyle. I earn my own money too, but why should I spend my own money to also live up to your lifestyle? I am fine with way less and saving my money. It's almost expected to go along with their lifestyle, but why not go along with my cheap "pathetic" lifestyle? You could argue that you might not be compatible with that person, but I have even seen this so often in broke women. I find it quite a popular expectation that I am absolutely not willing to live up to. Reddit
Expecting me to pay for dates that could be expensive when there's no guarantee I'll ever even see them again. There are so many flakes and fakes out there. Another attractive quality in men, I believe, is standing up for yourself and possibly others, being the protector, etc. I'm happy to oblige in this role. Being taken for a ride for my money contradicts this. And if you expect equality, you should demonstrate it yourself by paying for your own stuff. u/RisingFromNada
Beards. I happened to be exiting my teen years at a time when beards were almost universally disparaged by women and the most common dudes you'd find with beards were bikers, stoners, or metalheads. Even though they're now almost de rigueur for men to look manly/attractive, I've never been able to shake the idea that while a beard might look good on a particular guy's face, they otherwise make men look like slobs, especially those long, scraggly, Duck Dynasty-style beards. u/Vyzantinist