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10 thought-provoking accounts from people who opted out of parenthood and it’s mind-boggling

While parenting brings joy to some, it's okay for others to opt for different paths or acknowledge that it may not suit them.

10 thought-provoking accounts from people who opted out of parenthood and it’s mind-boggling
Representative Image Source: Pexels | Andre Furtado

Being a parent is a choice.

Representative Image Source: Pexels | Phil Nguyen
Representative Image Source: Pexels | Phil Nguyen

Parenting, while being a rewarding experience, might not be suitable for everyone. While many people find immense joy and fulfillment in raising children, it's understandable if others want to choose a different path or recognize that parenting is not what they want in their lives. Alternatively, they could pursue careers they have always wanted and personal interests or simply be free of the additional responsibility that comes with having a child. u/yeyewestie put out the question to people who opted out of parenthood on Reddit, "For those that don't want any kids in the future, why?" Here are 10 of the most thought-provoking answers that people had to offer: 

1. Not wanting to worry about a kid

Representative Image Source: Pexels | EKATERINA BOLOVTSOVA
Representative Image Source: Pexels | EKATERINA BOLOVTSOVA

I don't want to worry about a kid for the rest of my life. I could never truly relax again. I just don't feel like being a parent and watching over a child. u/detective_kiara. You're right about never relaxing again. It's weird, like a background radiation of worry, once they're out there. I once read that having children was like 'pulling your heart out and letting it run around on its own.' And that's really the best description. On the other hand, I honestly can't imagine life without my daughter. The reason it's so scary is because, until she was born, I didn't know something could be so important to me. I didn't have anything, even my own life, I was really all that worried about losing. It's a hard choice, between having something so important you always worry about losing it or never having that in your life at all. If I had it all to do over again, I would. u/User1539

2. No particular reason 

Representative Image Source: Pexels | Reead #
Representative Image Source: Pexels | Reead 

I don’t have a reason to have kids. u/ogii. When people have asked me why I don't want kids, I point out that if I had said "I definitely want kids" they would never question it. I understand it's the biological survival default to want offspring, but it's 2023 and life is no longer about just surviving and passing on genetic material. There doesn't have to be a reason to not want kids any more than there has to be a reason to have them. So I like your answer of just not having a reason. u/Lambfudge 

3. Avoid the stress that comes with raising kids

Representative Image Source: Pexels | Ketut Subiyanto
Representative Image Source: Pexels | Ketut Subiyanto

Personally not interested in the stress, responsibility and dedication it takes to look after babies, toddlers and kids. If I ever do have kids I’ll look after them but right now and probably for a long time, I don’t see myself wanting to be around kids when coming home after a long day and then dealing with a screaming baby (Of course not all the time) which needs attention the entire time I’m home. u/Dependent_Noise_6249

4. Lack of a parental instinct 

Representative Image Source: Pexels | Pixabay
Representative Image Source: Pexels | Pixabay

Just not something I have ever wanted. Believe it or not, there are just some people out there who don't have a parental instinct. u/LucyVialli. It's interesting, you know. I am mid-late 30's and I never wanted them. And I mean, I never entertained the idea. It wasn't an option in my head for what my life would look like when I was a kid. I never ever thought, huh that is something I want. I often consider myself lucky because it was never something I had to agonize over. It felt like I was born with that already decided. I'm a woman, so I just don't often hear anyone say they felt the same. Reddit

5. Wanting peace and quiet life

Representative Image Source: Pexels | Engin Akyurt
Representative Image Source: Pexels | Engin Akyurt

Because I like peace, quiet, cleanliness, free time, and last but not least, money. u/JoeBonus. This. I enjoy my free time and peace and money. I have no desire to wake up early to a screaming toddler and lose sleep. I’m sure it’s a rewarding thing for those who want kids but not for me. I can tolerate hanging out with my nieces and nephews and friends' kids for a limited time but afterward, I’m so glad to have my quiet time. u/FunKoala12 

6. Feeling pressured to be a mother

Representative Image Source: Pexels | RDNE Stock project
Representative Image Source: Pexels | RDNE Stock project

It's as simple as I've always known I've never wanted them. I'm 32(F) and one of the biggest turning points of my life was about 4 years ago when I realized I'd been anxious my entire 20s about the pending inevitability of parenthood, it felt like a black cloud handing over the rest of my life from the age of 30 onwards that I was hurtling towards. Then I realized I had a choice and not having kids was an option, I think it took so long to get to that place because, as a female, you are relentlessly bombarded with motherhood your entire life. Since my decision, I feel like I'm only starting to feel alive. For people whose heart and soul want children, amazing, I hope you have a wonderful journey. I'm just so glad I was born in a time when finally, not having kids is a viable option too. u/No-Parsnip-4459 

7. Abstain from passing on poor genetics 

Representative Image Source: Pexels | Martin Péchy
Representative Image Source: Pexels | Martin Péchy

I don't want to pass on my terrible genetics and generational trauma to anyone else. u/Narutophanfan1. My genes are terrible and the way my parents passed all of their worst conditions to me, I am not surprised if more of them will come out along the way. My parents did an amazing job raising me with a difficult genetic condition, but it made them suffer for sure. I definitely would not be able to take care of a child with the same disease as mine. It would be especially hard psychologically. u/Ieva11 

8. Losing a sense of self 

Representative Image Source: Pexels | Keira Burton
Representative Image Source: Pexels | Keira Burton

I have one child, (I) strongly considered abortion but the option was more or less taken from me before I could get my bearings. Anyway, I had her, and I don’t regret her, I would die for her, she’s well taken care of. With all that being said, motherhood is not for me. I never wanted children, and I’ve found that aside from watching her grow and learn, motherhood is mostly miserable. The pregnancy was miserable, the birthing process was miserable, the lack of sleep, the amount of money you have to spend, not being able to do what you want, losing your sense of identity and self, and becoming this person that lives to raise your child, are all miserable to me. For that reason, I never want any more. u/Ddeesummer 

9. Having OCD 

Representative Image Source: Pexels | Kampus Production
Representative Image Source: Pexels | Kampus Production

Because I don't believe I'd be a good parent. Don't get me wrong, I'd love the hell out of my kid, but I have OCD, and are there worse germ machines than a baby? Diapers, throw up, snotty noses... I'd probably break down. And I don't want to "give" this to a potential child. I don't want a potential child to live a life of discomfort and anxiety because their mom has OCD. I feel like people think that not being a good parent = not being a good person. The way I see it, it's like a job. I'd be a terrible mechanic, and I wouldn't be a good parent. u/may_unnie 

10. Experiencing a tough childhood 

Representative Image Source: Pexels | Ahmed Akacha
Representative Image Source: Pexels | Ahmed Akacha

I had a tough childhood. I didn’t get to be a child. I didn’t get to relax and enjoy life. I counted down the days until I was 18 so I could be free. Ended up moving out at 17 with then boyfriend. Oh, turns out he was abusive. Still better than my home life, so I settled into that life until I could escape that at 23. Single for a while then met my now husband. I felt like I could live for the first time. It’s been 11 years now and there’s no way I’m going to have kids. Call it selfish but I’m living for myself the rest of my life and I’m having a blast. u/ibeleafinyou1

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