10 quirky things people would say to the audience if they become the first human to step foot on Mars

A big speech after stepping foot on Mars. 

The human fascination with space exploration has been an enduring obsession, fueled by an innate curiosity and the desire to conquer the unknown. Even though we have had multiple successful missions on the Moon, it has always been a dream to land on the red planet, Mars. With many references to the big red planet in modern pop culture, one cannot help but wonder what a person would say if they stepped foot on Mars. u/drifter3467 asked the community, "You step foot on Mars as the first human, what do you say to the audience watching?" Here are 10 of the most interesting and funny answers that people had to share. 

1. An advertisement for Pepsi 

"Pepsi is out of this world" while holding a can. I'm the first person on Mars, there will be billions watching. You better believe I'm cashing in. u/MenacingBoar. “When deep space exploration ramps up, it'll be the corporations that name everything, the IBM Stellar Sphere, the Microsoft Galaxy, Planet Starbucks.” u/DatabaseGangsta. Step 1: buy a ton of stock in whatever company you like without telling anyone. Step 2: say the company name as the first word on Mars. Step 3: profits. u/defyinglogicsl

2. How Mars could help future missions

In our earliest navigations, we used to use the stars as our guides. As we step upon the surface of the red planet, may we stand as the next light to guide humanity forward. Reddit. This is a great serious answer. u/FunkyOperative. I appreciate that, I like to read and learn history. I just finished the HBO special on NASA and the Apollo program I also enjoy Churchill as an orator, try to channel him. Reddit. A suggestion would be to replace the first 'stand' in the second line with 'step' to avoid repetition. But I really like it. u/FunkyOperative

3. Scream loudly and cut the feed

I'd say with a horrified look on my face... "Oh my God.. What's that thing with horns? Are those tentacles??" and then scream loudly and cut the feed. u/apat85. Or just don't say anything. Start whimpering and get into a fetal position. Gradually increase the loudness of your whimpering until it reaches a point where you are screaming your vocal cords off. Then suddenly go silent and cut the feed. u/kkaya39. This. Act like you've just come face to face with Cthulhu and your mind has melted. u/bjanas

4. Rephrase an iconic saying

"This one small step for a man represents mankind's next great leap into the cosmos." u/The_Real_Scrotus. I'm sorry to say it but this sounds like a less elegant copy of the original. I don't see what's different about this, except for saying it is the next step, which could be captured more succinctly with something more true to the original like "one small step for a man, the next giant leap for mankind". The "represents" part is already implied, so adding it feels unnecessary. On the other hand, it would be cool to have a chain of "one small step" speeches, but then deviating too much from the original would seem a bit weird. u/draculamilktoast

5. Intro for the A-Team 

Don’t let this distract you from the fact that in 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to a military prison for a crime they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A-Team. u/elguereaux

6. Pretend they were in a movie 

"Wow, this studio looks a lot like those Mars pictures I've seen. Oh, s***.... the camera was rolling? Director, why didn't you yell action?" Then I'd say something if they didn't cut the cameras, don't know what. I just think maybe some conspiracy theorists would believe the first sentence because there will totally be Mars landing deniers regardless of what was said. u/CitrusLovingCats

7. Share that it was a group effort 

Personally, I would prefer to somehow be able to step out with the rest of the crew at the same time so we could all step foot on Mars at once just so I could make a speech along the lines of - "None of humanity's great achievements have ever been made by one individual alone, it is together that we build the miraculous technology that allows us to traverse the void between worlds, together we raise, provide for and educate the brilliant minds that build that technology, it is together we build societies that can not only fund these incredible projects but endorse their creation because it is together that we long to explore, to discover, to grow as a species and so it is together that we take these first steps on an alien world and usher in the next era of humanity". u/Dan_Miathail

8. Quote Robert Frost 

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood. And sorry I could not travel both. And be one traveler, long I stood. And looked down one as far I could. To where it bent in the undergrowth. Then took the other, as just as fair. And perhaps having the better claim. For it was grassy and wanted wear. Although as for that the passing there. Had worn them really about the same. And both that morning equally lay. In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day. Yet, knowing how way leads on to way. I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh, Somewhere ages and ages hence. Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one not traveled by. And that has made all the difference. u/Living_Murphys_Law

9. Better Wi-Fi 

"Greetings, Earthlings! I finally made it to Mars, and let me tell you, the red carpet they rolled out for me is literally red. Talk about sticking to a theme!" "Well, folks, I can confirm that Mars has a better Wi-Fi signal than my apartment on Earth. Apparently, the Martians are big on interplanetary connectivity – who knew?" "I asked the Martian locals for directions, and they just pointed to the nearest crater and said, 'You can't miss it.' Note to self: Brush up on universal GPS coordinates before the return trip." u/ado-zii

10. Ask people to subscribe

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