10 suggestions and lesson from women for making life better for the next generation

Sisterhood!

Being a woman in this world is a unique and difficult experience. No one can understand what it means to be a woman until and unless they walk in their shoes. Contrary to the popular opinion there is a sisterhood that exists between women. They know how hard it is to exist and thrive in society and are willing to extend a hand of help to others in the same boat as them. This is what the women in this thread are doing. In response to the question "What’s the most valuable lesson you’ve learned as a woman that you wish you knew when you were younger?" these individuals provide lessons and learnings they have garnered in their journey to date. These lessons will help the young ones to not go through the same tough roads their predecessors had to, to reach these conclusions. Here are 10 things women want the next generation to know when it comes to handling life and its messes.

1. Prioritize your feelings

Trust your gut feelings. I wish I hadn’t ignored that so many times. I would’ve spared myself so much trouble and suffering. u/anitacina You should put your feelings first. A TED talk I watched described how we are always so concerned about other people liking us and we mold ourselves that way, that we forget to ask ourselves if we like them. u/ginalinetti21 You don't need to be "polite" and let other people step over you physically and emotionally. We're allowed to express our feelings and needs without "feeling bad" u/Fantastic_Yam_5023

2. Establish boundaries

If a partner is insulting you and it's "just a joke", it's not just a joke. He's testing your boundaries to see how much degradation and embarrassment you'll endure. u/DueSomewhere8488 Men can be just as emotional and "irrational" as they claim only women are. u/JellyTwoForms Stepping away is an important form of self-care. u/Zimby_14  Don’t keep problematic and toxic people in your life purely out of loyalty. Or because they do brief self-serving kind gestures. It’s not worth them being an energy vampire. It’s not worth your mental health and the detriment that it causes you. Cut them off or distance yourself. The relief you will feel is so redeeming. u/Gingerpyscho94

3. Develop a healthy relationship with beauty

Being beautiful is not my job or career, so I should stop treating it like it. I used to be incredibly invested in looking beautiful, I'd stare at my face in the mirror often nitpicking everything thinking about what I would change. But my value doesn't come from being beautiful, I grew up around prettier women my whole life and got a complex from it, later realized that they don't have it any better than me, they still experienced disrespect from men and harassment, and while they weren't as lonely as me, they experienced more disrespect and objectification than I did. I realized that it was no woman's job to look beautiful for men, or anyone. After accepting this, I started gaining a more body-neutral perspective and started liking my features, even if they hadn't changed all that much. u/Anunusanae  You don’t owe beauty to anybody. Your self-worth has nothing to do with your body, size, or physical appearance. u/airkites

4. Know your worth

Don’t settle! You really can and will get exactly what you want- in a man, a job, in life. As long as u don’t settle. Even if you’ve already wasted 5-10 years with a man or a job. Don’t settle. Life is waiting for you! u/FormalPound4287 Know your worth. Then add tax. u/Living-Wing-8888  I learned this one the hard way - and only now after years of being single I’ve boosted my own self-worth and self-respect and have found someone who will because he wants to. u/Tuftyland

5. Don't sweat for criticism

Wear whatever the f**k you want. Men are going to treat you shitty no matter what you wear. Decent people don’t give a shit about clothes, and they won't care if you dress like a weirdo or a bimbo or a f*****g astronaut. u/cherrybombsnpopcorn. Don’t let people humiliate you. u/zopalulu. Love yourself first. Don’t worry about what people say or think. u/Thin-Skill699. Every decade I look back on the last decade and realise: I wasn't as unfit as I thought I was. I wasn't as fat as I thought I was. My photos are better than I thought at the time. I did have interesting hobbies. I did achieve things. My life didn't stand still, I did grow mentally and emotionally. u/MyPacman

6. No matter what the others say- It's not YOU

Don't revolve your life around men and their opinions. Live your life the way that makes you happy. u/inflatablehotdog It’s not me, it’s him. u/Ok_Day_8559 Love yourself before you try to love someone else. And if they don’t want you, it isn’t your fault. u/Ill-Pineapple-570 You are not responsible for anyone else's feelings. You don't owe him anything just because he likes you. u/stephenfryismyidol When you state something that bothers you or is a problem to you, it is not your responsibility to repeat yourself if the person respected you then they would have stopped/done it on the spot. Especially in relationships. u/Alternative_Sea_2036

7. If you don't want to be there, don't be there

Don’t be polite just because you think you’re supposed to be. If someone is bothering you, be direct and remove yourself from the situation. u/mudbubbles Don't let embarrassment or awkwardness make you feel like you can't say no. You don't owe anyone your time, your emotions, or your body. u/d3gu Placing boundaries down feels like an attack on the people who didn't care about them in the first place. u/lanakane21 Preach. People never like it when you claim your own space. At a certain point, you have to stop apologizing for doing it. u/Ozzimo

8. Friends for life

Friendship with other women is more important to your life than any boy, especially while you’re still in high school/college. Friends are more likely to still be there in 10 years and will give you way more love and validation than any man could ever give. u/Adventurous_Note77 Be social. Even if you aren’t social. Even if you don’t want to be social. Make friends now because it’ll be 10 times harder when you’re an adult. If you don’t make an effort to make connections, you’ll end up being lonely, which might seem fine when you’re younger, but the comedown is brutal. Make friends. u/SinnerClair

9. Being alone is underrated

Being single and learning how to be happy alone is incredibly important, u/stinkypoopygorl Don't spend life searching/chasing/settling for a romantic partner and/or creating a family. Focus on yourself as an individual human with unique goals and desires. Focus on your life, taking care of yourself and your future. If a partner can come into your life and add value and meaning to it that's great, but you don't need it. Don't compromise or sacrifice yourself to bend to their life. u/PurplishPlatypus

10. If he wants to be there, he will be there

If he’s really interested in you, he will move mountains to spend time with you. Stop listening to your friends who help you make excuses for him. u/phonemarsh  Don’t chase. Don’t try to convince. Don’t settle. u/fill_the_birdfeeder If he wanted to, he would. u/SnooGiraffes4091. All of this I had to learn the hard way since my older female relatives made horrible choices and didn’t bother to warn me. But ladies, you are someone’s dream girl, so don’t settle for being the intermission girl. u/globeaute