10 people reveal the most profound relationship advice they've ever received and it's eye-opening

Love doesn't need to be complicated

Human relationships tend to create complexity, and the level only increases when it comes to romantic relationships. While they do have their own pluses, they can be demanding at times because when two individuals who have their own personalities come together, differences are bound to occur. Challenges can come in the form of miscommunication, expectations, or external pressures. During such times, one should not be hesitant to reach out to loved ones for advice. When u/Adrienadii asked the Reddit community for advice on relationships, these are the gems they offered: 

1. Plan out life goals

Discuss life goals (especially kids) and financial habits before you get married. If one person wants 6 kids and the other wants to be childless that’s not going to work. If one person has champagne tastes and spending habits but you as a couple have a boxed wine budget, then that is a problem. More than one marriage has been ended because one spouse is bad with money and refuses to live within their means. u/Amadeus3698

2. It should not be very hard

That 'relationships are SO HARD' or 'marriage takes so much work' is terrible advice. Relationships take effort and maintenance and mindfulness, but it shouldn't be work. It's a garden, not a salt mine. If literally everything is an uphill struggle all the time, you're not compatible. Move on. All 'relationships are SO HARD, you all!' teaches people is to stay in relationships that are bad for them. Get therapy and find healthy partners. And DEFINITELY don't have kids if your relationship is already 'OMG SO HARD.' u/TheAngerMonkey

3. Don't rely on your partner for happiness

A partner is the cherry on top of a cake. The cake is your responsibility. Translation: A good partner can make you happier in life but can never make you happy. It is your own responsibility to have a happy and fulfilling life. The inverse is a little different. A bad partner can ruin your happiness. But it is your own responsibility to (not let a bad cherry ruin your cake) not let a bad partner ruin your happiness. u/Ether_Freeth

4. No means no

I don't know if it's considered relationship advice but... When I was around 14 and had my first serious relationship, I went to see my girl in the evening. Before I went out the door, my dad stopped me and said: 'Son, there's one thing that you should know and after I tell you I'll shut up about it... If a girl says 'no' that means 'no'. I felt really awkward at the moment cause it seemed obvious and I felt like my dad saw me as an idiot. 10 years later I still think about that moment and what my dad said and I feel so proud of him for pointing out something that is really important. I feel like simple advice like that is not given often enough. u/Casioblo

5. Learn to move on 

Instead of repeating what's already been said; My ex left me and for a few weeks afterward, my friends, mom, sister, etc. kept telling me: 'Why did she leave you? She's gonna realize she made a mistake and come back!' My dad, though, brought me aside and straight up told me: 'She's not coming back. Let her go.' So I did. I tried moving on with that mindset. Lo and behold, she never did come back, fast forward a few weeks and I met my now-loving wife (this was 10 years ago)! Thanks, dad! u/To55ursalad

6. Don't be too idealistic

I had this professor at university, he was an ex-marine turned therapist. Big cuddly, but very stern man. The class was interpersonal relations. He told us once, that relying on a long-lasting love and relationship to be this explosive, magical experience will always lead to disappointment. He said, actually being in love is finding someone who annoys you in ways that you can put up with. And I have found it to be totally true. u/timefortrees

7. Know what you want

This is advice I got from my therapist while recovering from a toxic relationship: Make a 'Non-Negotiable' list. Technically you would do this while single. Write out everything you need from a long-term partner. Read it every day, and ingrain that list in your head. Because when new relationships start it is so easy to get lost in the high of falling in love that you miss or shrug off the red flags. Stick to that list, you made it for a reason. You’ve already decided what you can and won’t put up with from a partner. u/Heretic_Red

8. Don't repress feelings

Never go to bed angry, but also don’t stay up late fighting. Now, the key here is to read angry as it is. You can go to bed not in love with that moment. You can go to bed not agreeing. You can go to bed feeling like you need to work on things. What you don’t want to do is let things fester to the point that you go to bed feeling anger and hopelessness. The key is to agree that you will talk in the morning when you have had time to sleep and mentally rest as well. It can be hard sometimes but I know I have never been able to meaningfully resolve a conflict when I’m physically and emotionally spent. u/lifeofyou

9. Kids should not change everything

Don't forget who you were before you had kids. Too many parents turn into empty-nesters and then completely fail to reconnect with their spouse. Don't lose sight of being a couple just because you are parents. You shouldn't need to reconnect. Don't lose that connection to begin with. I can honestly say that, if my kids left the house right now, my wife and my relationship would not skip a beat. u/CaptainAwesome06

10. Spend time away from each other

My soon-to-be wife and I got this advice early in our relationship and I am glad we did: Make sure you make time for yourselves. Spending time with my partner is my singular favorite thing to do, she's my best friend and makes me laugh constantly, but that doesn't mean I don't need time and that she doesn't need time alone. Sometimes, that means she goes on a hike and I play some disc golf by myself. Sometimes that's her reading in the other room while I play a video game or watch hockey. That way, you're keeping yourself happy while supplementing it with time with your partner. u/gbeckwith