10 men share how infatuated they are with their spouse years after falling in love

Does infatuation fade or grow over time?

People often say that the initial love and infatuation between partners start to fade slowly after their so-called "honeymoon phase" as they come face-to-face with the realities of life and raising a family. But if the partners have mutual love and respect for each other, their relationship can last a lifetime. u/CocainePandaa tested this when they asked the married men of Reddit to share whether they are still as infatuated with their spouse as they were when they got married. "This question is particularly for those who were obsessed with their partner initially. How did that feeling evolve with time? Do you still have your heart racing and enamored every day when you see your partner?" the Reddit user added. Several married men candidly shared their honest thoughts on whether they are still spellbound by their spouses. Here are some of the interesting responses to this question:

1. Time intensifies infatuation

"Been together 11-12 years, married for nearly nine of them. I can confirm I was, am and probably always will be, hopelessly obsessed with her. The journey has only intensified it. Truth be told I have no idea what such a brilliant, hilarious, absolute knockout of a woman even wants with me some days and yet she feels just as lucky to have found and held onto me? I mean, I’ve heard the marriages that love deep and last a lifetime are ones where both people in it continuously feel like they outkicked their coverage, but until it happened to me, I was convinced it wouldn’t. The life we’ve built together demands a lot of our time focused on things other than each other these days, so sometimes the energy or opportunity to come at each other the same way doesn’t always materialize but I’ll tell you, waking up next to her puts a smile on my face every single day. I married the best friend I’ve ever had. She’s the one I can’t wait to tell everything and anything." - u/ForYourAuralPleasure

2. Finding your soulmate

"10 years and we are both still madly in love. I didn't believe soul mates were real. That the very concept was a teenager's pipe dream. Naive and young. Then, 12 years ago, I met the single most beautiful woman in the world. She's funny, whip-quick smart, likes all the same things I do and our dislikes complement each other. I don't like onions, she does. She doesn't like broccoli, I do. Things like that. Our values match up in all three categories: Political, financial and familial and finally, our private life is outstanding. Two years into our relationship, I asked her to marry me. And 10 years later, we laugh like idiots, talk like philosophers and get along like 2 peas in a pod. This woman has opened my eyes to the fact that soul mates might just be a thing. And I hope that anyone looking gets to meet theirs." - u/Complex-Injury6440

3. Things change with time

"Saw my now wife in 7th-grade homeroom during orientation. I remember everything she was wearing. She’s still just as cute as she’s always been. Was 35 years ago. I still have to say all the right things to even have a chance at anything. I’ve had a lot of practice, so I’m pretty smooth. Something I learned does not work anymore is - you’re so much more mature than other girls! Backfired, big time!" - u/fishin_pups. "We just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary and I love my wife more every day. We have two beautiful kids, run a successful company together and have a better life than we ever did in our '20s. It feels nice to take stock every now and then and remember how grateful I am to have her." - u/timeisstupid

4. Getting obsessed with the right person

"I was never obsessed, I started dating her because she was nice to me. My dating history was filled with women who wanted something from me and who I didn’t get along with, they were all lazy, selfish and mean and then I found someone who was simply kind and hardworking. That’s all it took. I still feel the same way, but I don’t think if I kept looking, I’d be obsessed with a girl who was actually good for me. I feel that feeling, but it’s typically for the wrong reasons. I get butterflies because she’s hot or because she plays games and ignores me like an immature child. I’m just mature enough to ignore those feelings and make the smart decision." - u/Scary-Ad-1345

5. Infatuation is overrated

"I feel like that's a shallow form of obsession that doesn't really cover the sort of deep love you might get in a long-term relationship. Anyway, we just welcomed our first child almost a month ago. I find I love her more than ever and am probably more attracted to her now than ever. There's this affection and love I feel seeing her be a good mom to our daughter. It reinforces the decisions that got me here. It's great. I do feel for anyone here who feels like their wholehearted love for their spouse doesn't feel reciprocated. That sounds tough and I'm not sure I could handle that." - u/Mikhos. "Infatuated is an overrated ad based on emotion. But yes, being able to live with my best friend and raise lovely children with her. Yes absolutely. Maybe more." - u/Adorable_Ladder_38

6. Honest confessions

"No, my heart doesn’t race more every day whenever I see my wife of nine years. It’s like your understanding of relationships is the cheerful wedding bit of a Disney princess movie. My wife is my favorite person on Earth and we keep things light and fun. I am still very much attracted to her. Our communication is good. That is all. No idea what you’re on about. You should talk to more happily married people. None of them will tell you that their heart races every time they’re chilling with their wives or husbands. That’s anime-level silliness, mate." -u/SirMooncake

7. Engaged but still infatuated

"Engaged, but have been with my fiancé for four years now. We were definitely infatuated with each other at the beginning of our relationship. We were constantly at each other's side and living life to its fullest. As the relationship grew and we started pursuing educational and career goals together, our infatuation started to become less and less. It was for sure an adjustment for both of us, as we felt guilty about not spending as much time with each other or being as obsessed with each other. As we go through our busy lives, we still make time for each other, but other time is spent around family, friends and co-workers. The hardest part was accepting that the honeymoon phase was just a phase. It doesn't last forever. We love each other and we are still the most important people to each other, but there are so many other aspects of life to focus on. We both continue to focus on our own goals while still making sure we have time for each other. It has definitely progressed to a mature relationship. I'll be honest, no my heart doesn't start racing when I see her every time - but I feel comfort, love and respect." -u/BlueConch889

8. Still thoroughly infatuated

"Yes, I do. After 27 years together, we hug roughly a dozen times a day and grope each other quite frequently throughout the day. And when she's been gone for the day, I miss her and as soon as her car pulls in the driveway and I hear it, my first thought is 'she's home' not in the statement type of way, the happy and excited to see her way. She is everything to me and she makes my days much nicer by being with me as we go through life." - u/NoSpankingAllowed. "I am fond of her even today and we like spending time together. Ten years into our marriage, we decided we would watch at least one or two shows together and no matter what happened, it meant we spent time together and discussed shows. So, it’s not having anything to talk about and that’s kept us closer." -u/Short-pitched." 

9. Keeping the spark alive

"That type of new relationship energy lasted around three years (dated four years, married for two), now it's less obsessiveness and just intense love and enjoyment. My wife's greatest fear is losing the spark, so she goes above and beyond to keep the spark alive and that motivates me as well." - u/Louis_Litt_esq. "No, the honeymoon phase wore off before we even got married. But I think that's the only way you can be confident that it will last. If the infatuation wears off and you still want to be with them, that's love." - u/huuaaang. "My wife and I were together for 43 years. I never stopped loving her. To be honest, her ardor lessened over time, but mine did not." - u/wwwhistler

10. Relationships grow deeper with time

"Infatuated is the wrong word. Being married is like watching your favorite movie. Sure, it’s not as exciting as the first time you watched it, but you still enjoy it immensely. You may enjoy it even more because there are lots of little things you didn’t notice the first few times. Also, you’ve seen the director's commentary, so every scene has so much more depth." - u/Trick-Interaction396. "Yeah, this is me too. I'm not as ga-ga for sure, but I grow more and more grateful as time goes on. She's a pretty great lady. I'm a catch too, but a lot of great guys don't get great gals. I got lucky and I know it and I let her know it." - u/Message_10