Women share the encounters with men who think they knew better than them and ended up mansplaining in a patronizing way.
Mansplaining refers to the way men explain things to a woman in a condescending and patronizing way. Many women have encountered men who think they know better and hold the authority to explain things that others might know about already. Even well-intentioned men might unconsciously mansplain, and women might subconsciously accept it as the norm. However, to unlearn this very common way of communication that contributes to gender inequality, we need to recognize where and how it is actually happening. This is why when the question "What is the worst case of mansplaining you have encountered?" was posted by u/BumblebeeKneewarmers on the r/AskWomen thread, we knew we had to deliver the top 10 comments to you!
I got into an argument once about how my first name was spelled, which isn't subjective in the slightest. It's a name with a few spelling variations and he argued that I spelled it a different variation than my name is spelled (think Rachel vs Rachael or Rebecca vs Rebekah or Katherine vs Kathryn). His evidence that I was wrong and actually did spell my name the same way he was spelling it was that my name in his contacts was spelled his way, and he couldn't comprehend that that was because he misspelled it when he saved my number. u/Riovem
Spent about 20 min. explaining to some dudes that I know the origin of my first name at the last party I went to. Those guys kept going "It just doesn't sound like it" even though I kept telling them that a couple of times people who come from the country it's from were excited upon hearing it and immediately wanted to exchange expat stories. Google eventually settled it. And weird shit. I was right. u/Annenbrook. Lol, same. I had a guy insist on my name having an r where there is none. After that bullshit, I decided I would never get his name right. He was whatever name came to mind whenever I had to address him. It pissed him off. u/DarkestofFlames
A man in my hiking group explained insomnia to a woman who was a doctor and expert in the field, conducting a major experiment into insomnia, and also a sufferer herself. I called him out on it and he apologized - she told me it happens a lot. Months later, he brought it up with me in the pub, enraged that I’d called him out, and stood there jabbing a finger in my face and shouting, You don't even know what mansplaining is!! I’ll never forget it. u/Reddish81
Worked at an outdoor kids' amusement park. There were golf carts you could ride around which I was taking care of. A man comes to me and says their golf cart is dying, I should recharge it and get them a new one. I told him I could just fill the tank right away so they could continue to use it. The man then proceeded to explain to me how golf carts didn't use gasoline, but needed to be charged, because they were electric vehicles that use batteries instead of gasoline. I didn't say anything, just made him watch as I opened the box where the tank was and refueled their cart with gasoline. u/Dodgy_Cactus
A male gyno spent 15 minutes explaining to me that lots of things can feel wrong in my boobs, but that they rarely are for people my age, and that I’m a healthy weight, but if I added muscle my boobs would feel less lumpy. I let him finish his weird speech, then insisted he at least do an exam since I’m here and am concerned. He performed the exam, and then sent me for a mammogram because I did indeed have a lump that didn’t just feel wrong to my silly little woman brain, it was wrong, and I had it removed. u/babythrottlepop
An ex-boyfriend tried to explain to me how a shovel works. Toddlers know how to use a shovel. I'm a whole grown-ass woman in my forties, I'm pretty sure I can figure out what end of the shovel to stick in the dirt. We also had a similar conversation about screwdrivers. He was amazed that I knew the difference between a flathead and a Phillips. u/oneeyefox. A shovel. A SHOVEL? Genuine question - am desperate to know now, how did he explain it? u/Future_Literature335
I brought my car in for an exhaust smell, while about 8 months pregnant. The mechanic told me “Sometimes pregnant women can have a heightened sense of smell, especially during their last months of pregnancy” and nothing was wrong with my car. A month later the exhaust pipe fell off. u/lulu-bell. Exactly! I once called the gas company to check for a leak. My husband didn't smell anything and thought I was imagining it. The gas guy comes and finds a tiny leak in the dryer gas line and tells us he's learned to trust pregnant women when they say they smell something because they're almost always right lol. u/regals_beagles
I’m a sex worker in Australia and I recently had an American client just start blurting out all the things that are wrong with my country. I’m under no illusion that Australia is some kind of perfect country, but I found it mind-blowing because everything he was saying applied tenfold to the US. His main issue was that there’s no upward class mobility in Aus, whereas apparently in the US you can start with nothing and build yourself up to a successful career like he did. Yes, readers, you are correct in your assumptions - he was, of course, a white man with two parents who had steady middle-class careers. u/jennahasredhair
My brother-in-law, who does not work in finance, tried to explain to me how stock splits work. I do work in finance and I said no, it works like this (his method essentially had customers magically doubling their balance). His answer: That’s not how any stock split I know of works. Me: Great. Well, I just handled one last week, so I know I’m right. But thanks. u/AdditionalCarpet5075 In this case I wish you were wrong. It’d be pretty cool to have a stock split double your investment. u/Fearless_Market_3193
I’m a housekeeper at an office. Said man saw me cleaning windows on the 2nd floor of the building, and can obviously see I haven’t been up to the top floor yet. Man: Pointing at the window I have not gotten it since it has streaks and fingerprints) Do you see this window? (smiles smugly) Me: Yes, I do sir. White folk smile, no teeth Man: It doesn’t seem to be clean yet (points all around the window) I was hoping you could do something about it before the day is over with. Me: Of course sir, it will be done before the day is over. I clean the window before I leave. I clock in midday and leave at the end of the night(my schedule). So no one can say these windows were dirty in the morning when they come in. He sees me the next day, gives me the asshole smile, and says, “Thanks for all you do, honey.” I really wanna deck this man in the throat. u/PhilosopherSharp249